Self-care is a culture that includes practices of rest, pampering, low-impact exercises, and other relaxing habits to help your body reset. However, with the commodification of self-care and the growing infantilisation of adults, it’s become a practice beset with harmful habits, such as sleeping all day or excessive consumerism. Self-care is an important part of mental wellness, but not every self-care habit is for your own good.
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What exactly is self-care?
Originally, it wasn’t a lifestyle. It’s believed that self-care was a way for people with chronic illnesses to manage their conditions while at home. Essentially, it became healthcare practices that people with lengthy medical conditions or disorders could do to make their lives easier. It evolved into a catch-all phrase to encompass practices to safeguard mental and physical health.
Simple self-care practices include regular exercises such as walking, eating healthy, sleeping enough, journaling, meditation, digital detox and reconnecting with nature. As a lifestyle, many people who are conscious of mental wellness tend to do extra things to take care of their appearance and mental well-being. This involves things like going to the spa, doing a 12-step facial routine, or exploring a park.
Self-care is a lifeline to maintain sanity in a stressful world. However, the lifestyle has been co-opted by capitalism and is also being used as an excuse to indulge in harmful habits. Self-care has become performative. Influencers use #selfcare to sell expensive and unnecessary products. In addition, some people have taken self-care to mean avoiding unnecessary duties.
Toxic self-care habits to avoid
1. Retail therapy
It’s one thing to have a weekly 12-step routine for a facial cleanse or indulge in a bath after every workday. The problem comes in when you constantly spend money on products to keep up with emerging trends in self-care. Treating yourself to a debt cycle isn’t a responsible way to look after your mental health.
Shopping is also not a form of therapy. You may get a dopamine release every time you get a haul of books, clothes, shoes, or beauty products. But if you are spending money you barely have just to feel better at the moment, you’ll regret it later.
Studies do show that shopping has a mental health boost because it provides a semblance of control. Whatever serotonin boost you get from a shopping spree will be wiped out when your credit card bills are due. Relying on emotional cues to determine your routine can lead to compulsions, such that whenever you feel sad, your first instinct is to “add to cart”.
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2. Perfectionism
Wellness influencers show how well-adjusted they are with their curated routines. However, many forget that what’s on social media isn’t always real. You don’t need to wake up extremely early in the morning, do exercise, meditate, journal, accomplish many tasks, eat unsustainably healthy, and have a perfectly productive day.
Self-care may be a way to reset but using it for competitive productivity isn’t healthy. Trying to match other people’s routines to match a manufactured aesthetic or standard will only lead to frustration. Perfect self-care routines don’t exist.
Creating a routine that suits your habits and feelings is more effective. When you feel good, see what helps maintain that feeling. Is it taking a walk, listening to an audiobook, exercising, or relaxing with your pet? Focus on doing that when you’ve set time aside for self-care. You can also figure out what upsets your mental health. If you have triggers that can be avoided, find a way to subvert them. For example, if you are stressed out by noise, you can invest in noise-cancelling headphones.
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3. Bed rotting
There is a rise in influencers using do-nothing days to get a mental wellness reset. Using the Dutch method of niksen to reset can help boost your mental health. But this doesn’t involve lying in bed all day doing absolutely nothing. Bed rotting is a growing trend where social media users show themselves in bed covered in blankets and living from there.
Unlike a lazy day or niksen, bed rotting means doing nothing. Lazy days have relaxed schedules and niksen means deliberately allowing your mind to be unoccupied. Spending too much time lying in bed leads to stress and an unbalanced mood. Staying in bed extensively while ignoring hygiene and other needs is a sign of depression and anxiety. It’s not a self-care routine.
Avoid using your bed for watching TV, reading, eating, or working. It’s one thing to do a few activities just before sleeping. But staying in bed all day to do these activities isn’t healthy. If you need to relax, use your couch, chair, or floor. Bed rotting can also lead to isolation, ignoring your mental health, and low energy. If you feel the urge to remain in bed for extended periods of time and you’re not unwell, it may be time to consult a therapist.
Check out:
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