Joanne looked around the nearly full café, then satisfied that no one was looking her way, took a huge bite into the burger that had brought her here. She fought to hold back the moan of pleasure that threatened to spill from her lips. This right here, this was heaven. Often when she craved things as deeply as she’d craved this burger, the experience rarely lived up to her fantasies. She had never been so happy to be wrong. This burger lived up to her craving fantasies and then some. She’d have to tip Lisa, her favourite server, a little extra for making this happen. She smiled as she recalled how happy she’d been to find Lisa working that mid-morning shift. Lisa understood cravings.
She took another bite. A big bite, eyes closed in bliss, and this time, she allowed herself to moan just a little. That had to be the juiciest of all the juicy burgers, she thought as she chewed slowly, savouring it.
Joanne suddenly got that weird tingly feeling that she was being watched and looked up to find Lisa and some random guy watching her. She cursed her greed as she sat there, her mouth full of a delicious burger that was no longer apparently being broken down by her furiously chewing teeth. She picked up a napkin, hiding behind etiquette as she covered her mouth and swallowed. Then she took off her huge headphones and lay them on the table before turning back to Lisa and the stranger.
Lisa smiled awkwardly, biting her lip. “Sorry for interrupting.”
“It’s okay. It’s fine, Lisa.” She said, glad to hear she sounded normal.
“I want to ask you a favour, don’t say no,” Lisa said.
“I’ll do you any number of favours if you’ll sneak me those extra complimentary cookies.” She said that what she really wanted was another burger just like the almost finished one that was sitting on her plate.
Lisa’s eyebrows raised comically. “Glad to hear you have no problem risking my job for cookies.” She turned to the guy who had a round bearded face that reminded Joanne of the kind best friend character in men’s sitcoms. “This is my cousin, Ian. Can he please sit with you for about an hour? He’s waiting for me to finish my shift and his old man back is too much of a bitch for him to sit in the regular chairs. Yours is the only booth available and you’re the nicest person I know here.”
Joanne stole a quick glance at Ian, then nodded at Lisa. “Only because you buttered me up so well.”
Old man? She bit her lip, holding back a laugh. He looked about her age, mid-30s to early 40s and from the looks of it was ageing beautifully, his back be damned.
“Thank you. I promise he’s a good boy,” Lisa said.
Joanne shook her head, a small smile on her lips as she turned back to her phone.
She heard Lisa ask her cousin what he wanted to order.
“I’ll have what she’s having,” Ian replied, a laugh bubbling under the surface.
Joanne ignored the comment, fastening her headphones. Her day was going far too well for her to focus on some stranger’s criticism of her eating.
Lisa walked away as Ian carefully slid into the booth and she slid back into the utopian world in the podcast.
*********
Ian cursed himself for the comment about having what she was having. He’d meant it as a joke, heck, even a compliment, but that wasn’t how it had landed. Either she didn’t care, or it had landed wrong. Either way, he needed to clarify that he meant her no harm.
He tapped a spot on the table before her. She glanced at him, then moved to press pause on what she was listening to.
“Sorry for interrupting,” he said, palm moving to his chest as if to convey earnestness. “I just wanted to say thanks for letting me share your space.”
“It’s cool, you’re welcome.” She said, turning back to her phone.
“Can I ask what you’re listening to?” he asked. “You looked pretty startled when you looked up to find me and Lisa.” He added by way of explanation.
“I’m sampling different audio drama podcasts, looking for something that’ll grab me.”
“I listened to this one called Blackout a couple of weeks back. It was pretty great.”
“Oh, I’ve listened to that one. It’s the one with Rami Malek, right?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s one of the best dystopian ones, and it’s why I’m currently looking for a utopian-themed story.”
“Is that escapism I hear?”
“Isn’t all art escapism?” She threw back.
“Fair point.”
He smiled and felt his heart lift when he saw her smile back. She was so beautiful, he thought, eyes on her soft-looking dark skin as she pushed one of her braids back. “So, the world is already too close to dystopia for you to escape through dystopia?”
“Correct.”
“You found anything good yet?”
“Not yet.” She answered.
“I want in on finding utopian stories. What does utopia look like for you?” he asked, just as Lisa placed a burger and a drink before him.
He took a big bite, then nodded towards her, urging her to share.
She smiled, warm eyes meeting his. “Well, first of all, there’s enough food to go around. Food as a human right that we actually implement, you know.”
He nodded, then sipped his drink.
*********
Her phone beeped, drawing her attention to it and stopping him mid-sentence. How was it possible that an entire hour and a half had just flown by as they created their own little utopia and polished off the delicious burgers? She was surprised by how much fun she’d had, how engaging every second had been.
“Damn. Give me a minute,” she said, then sent a quick message to her colleague, letting her know she was already at the café. The burger cravings had demanded she come a whole two hours before her meeting, but God help her, she couldn’t make herself regret it. She’d met a somewhat interesting guy and devoured a scrumptious burger.
“Do you have to leave?” He asked.
“Yeah,” Joanne answered, eyes still on her phone. “I have a meeting here that’s supposed to go down now.”
“Oh. Okay.” He took a long pause. “Would you like to go out sometime, like on a date, with me?”
She looked up, surprise clear on her face.
“I just, I enjoyed talking to you. I think you’re pretty insightful and I’d like to go out, if you want to.”
“Oh, okay. Um… yeah.” She answered, flustered. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had asked her out.
“Can you excuse me a minute?” she asked, already sliding out of the booth.
“Yeah. Of c-” He stopped mid-sentence when she stood up, revealing her pregnant belly. Thunderstruck, that’s what he was.
She just nodded, then rushed off to the washrooms.
For a minute there, in the course of their conversation, she’d forgotten she was pregnant. What even was that? How was that possible? She wondered as she slid into the first empty stall she found.
*********
Ian was glad for the seat holding him up. If he’d been standing, his ass would have been on cold hard the floor.
Holy fuck. She was pregnant. Pregnant-pregnant. Like heavily pregnant, pregnant. Not like a little bit. She was like all the way pregnant.
Damn.
Why was she flirting with him if she was pregnant? Unless she didn’t consider it flirting. Hell, maybe it was just a good conversation, and he’d been assuming it meant something more. Jesus Christ. She was pregnant.
His mind was in such a spiral that Lisa’s arrival announcing their imminent departure as well as dropping their bills was a welcome interruption. He cleared his bill and hers because he’d already told himself he would, even though it was clear now that there was nothing further there. They’d had a great hour and a half together and that was something. That was enough.
“Why didn’t you tell me she was pregnant?” he asked Lisa.
“Why would I ever tell you that?” Lisa asked, perplexed.
“Is she like married or something like that?”
Lisa cocked her head to the side, eyebrows almost in her hair. “Do you like her?”
“Is she married or not?” Ian asked, eyes casting, about to catch her return.
“Oh man, you like her!” Lisa all but squealed. “You should totally ask her out. She’s good people. The best.”
Ian sighed. He clearly wasn’t going to get any more from Lisa.
He needed to stretch his legs, get some fresh air in his lungs. That booth was way too small a space for him to process what was happening. He hadn’t had a connection like that with anyone in a long time. The chemistry was there, and her version of utopia was so people-centred, so life-affirming he wanted to start living there effective immediately.
He stepped outside and wrapped his coat tightly around him to ward off the chill as he paced and waded through his thoughts.
******
Joanne stood by the mirrors, straightening her heavy winter jacket and judging herself for hiding out in the bathroom like a coward. It was time to get out already, plus her colleagues had texted her. They were already there and had secured a sitting space.
She took a deep breath and walked out. He wasn’t there. She’d expected him to ditch and had known he would, but it was still more disappointing than she cared to admit. There was a reserved sign on the table and her bag was still hanging under the table where she’d left it. Lisa must have put the sign up to make sure her bag was safe and to preserve her spot in case she still wanted the table.
Men are so clueless, she thought. He’d left that table empty, not knowing whether she still wanted it, knowing full well that booths were at a premium during rush hour. She picked that to be mad at him because she really couldn’t justify being mad at him for running away at the sight of her rounded belly. Pregnant women didn’t exactly occupy the premium spot on the local dating scene.
She took her bag and then went to find Lisa to let her know she was ready to pay and release the table. She spotted her at the counter sans her uniform, which meant her shift was up.
“Thanks, Lisa, for the great service as always,” she said, sliding next to her at the counter.
Lisa turned to her smiling, and looking far too happy for what was an ordinary compliment. “Always a pleasure, Jo.”
“Can I get my bill?”
“It’s already covered,” Lisa answered.
Joanne cocked her head to the side, eyes widening in question. “My cousin.”
“Oh. Tell him thanks.”
“I will.”
Joanne’s phone beeped another text message. “My colleagues are here. I gotta go. Thanks.”
******
Ian had taken his eyes off the table for just a second and now a new group of people was occupying the booth.
She was gone. Fuck.
The entire time he’d been out there pacing, he’d see-sawed between staying on course and asking her out or adjusting his plan based on new facts. Now that it was clear she and the universe had decided for him, he was inexplicably sad and overcome with regret.
Lisa was cooling her heels waiting for him downstairs as he patrolled the cafe looking for Joanne. He could have just asked his cousin for help, but he really didn’t need her making fun of him, plus he was feeling surprisingly vulnerable, and he didn’t want anyone to see him like that. So, he’d lied about needing to use the bathroom and was presently walking through the restaurant looking for her.
He had no idea what he was even expecting. All he knew was they’d had a connection, something he’d not experienced in too long, and he wanted more of that. The pregnancy bit they could deal with later. He just knew he needed to find her. He was 38 years old, and most of the demographic he could choose from already had children or, clearly, was in the process of making them.
He stopped in his tracks and turned when he heard her laugh. He smiled with relief. It was her. She and a couple of men and women sharing a booth with an extended table.
He walked towards the booth, making up his speech as he went. They all turned to him, going silent when he reached the table. She looked up, surprise on her face.
“Hey,” he said to the table, then turned to her, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, and one of the guys moved to let her slide out of the booth. Damn, she was pregnant. She was so pregnant.
They stepped off to the side.
“I need to ask if we go on that date, will I be stepping on anyone’s toes? Do I risk getting jumped by some random guy and his friends?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “No. I’m free as a bird. A pregnant bird.”
“It’s good to have that clarified. So, can I get your number? For that date?”
Her eyes squinted. “You sure still want to? You don’t have to do this, just to be polite.”
“I really, really want to.” He answered, his smile so sweet, it drew an answering smile from her.
**********
That evening Joanne lay stretched out on the couch, hidden under her warm blanket, her feet drawing warmth from a hot water bottle. A perpetual smile cracked her face every time she thought back to the day she’d had. She wasn’t counting on him calling and setting that date up, but it still felt so good to have had that connection with someone. She didn’t even need the date, she thought. It was enough that they’d shared an hour and a half together and it had been great and he hadn’t run for the hills when he found out that she was pregnant. That would have to be enough and it was, she encouraged herself.
Her phone vibrated, and she reached for it. It was a number she didn’t recognize. She debated answering it, then couldn’t resist the flutter of hope that it could be him.
“Hello?”
“Hey. I have another idea for utopia.”
Joanne closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy the moment and how wrong she’d been.
“Oh yeah, what?” she asked, burrowing deeper under the covers.
“Are you ready? This one’s a biggie.”
“Hit me.”
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