After watching the Tinder swindler, cursing and vowing never to let a man use me for my money, you’d expect that I’m super vigilant. To be fair, I thought I had finally learnt to separate the wheat from the chaff when I met Miko. He rocked tuxedo suits, designer watches and always looked dapper. I was obsessed with snapping pictures of his looks to share on social media so that I could keep my man a ‘mystery’. These pictures obviously piqued people’s interest and when one follower commented “Girl, his watch settings are off. How is it 2 pm when y’all snapped this pic at dinner?”
When I tell you I lectured broke girls on the internet about designer stuff, high-value men and how they have busy schedules to be concerned about a watch that stopped while he was managing executive meetings. Girl! When I tell you I went low, I mean hell. Because what would a girl that wore cheap wigs and imitation perfumes tell me about my man? I was mean and derogatory, actually, I didn’t even go back to look at all the pictures previously taken to see if she was right. My ego made me miss the red flags. Yes, his watch time never matched whatever we had been doing at a particular time. They were fakes, hence the constant malfunctioning.
Miko was everything I wished for every time I sang along to Ciara’s prayer. He was good-looking, expensive and always took the time to treat me like I deserved. In just two months, he had proven that all my exes were jokers. He never asked where I wanted to dine, he always made the plans. Miko was open about his business moves, and his interactions with the who and who’s and always sought my opinion on my things. Finally, I felt like the universe was rewarding me, it was worth the wait.
That is why I had no problem sending him money whenever he asked for it. Given the nature of his business, he was bound to reach his maximum operating costs before noon every day. Mpesa set the maximum to 300 dollars, but his business dealings were beyond this on a daily basis. In fact, the night we met, his friends cleared the bill, because he didn’t have cash on him.
Miko came behind me and whispered, “Your zip snapped,” then walked off and blew a kiss after he sat down at his table.
I smiled back and gestured to one of my friends to escort me to the washrooms to help me fix the dress. When we got back, the waiter directed me to a different table, where Miko was seated alone. I walked towards him, smiling.
“You are beautiful, ” he paused. “I hope you don’t mind?” He asked.
“No, it’s okay. Thank you for the heads up by the way,” I offered as I ran my hands through my braids.
“Glad to hear. I ordered my favourite dessert for you. I hope you like it, ” he said.
“Well, I’m not allergic to anything, so at least we are certain there won’t be a reaction.” I joked and he laughed softly.
“I mean look at you, I have excellent taste. Or do you doubt it? ” He asked. I smiled shyly, I was flattered.
The waiter served me a strawberry cake, coated with chocolate. It was the perfect coincidence that I liked chocolate and strawberry cakes.
“Do you follow me on Instagram?” I asked.
“No. I don’t even have an account. Why do you ask?” He asked, his face broadly lit with a smile.
“Well, it’s too much of a coincidence that you ordered some of my favourite pastries,” I said as I entertained myself with a piece of the cake.
“Well, I’d like to flatter you, but sadly I don’t lie. Given the nature of my work, I barely have time to post stuff on social media.”
“What kind of business are you into? ” I asked.
“Well, it depends. Will a little suspense make you want to see me again Friday night?” He asked, his hands stretched out on the table, looking straight into my eyes.
“I like that. Let’s get you home, shall we?” He asked.
Miko ordered an Uber, opened the door for me and paid for it. I was smitten, and I knew he was my knight in shining armour.
We went on several dates after that at high-end places and I fancied everything about him. He introduced me to some of his equally affluent friends every once in a while and I grew comfortable around him. I was secretly going through bridal shops on Instagram, just to have options in case, you understand?
My bubble was however short-lived the morning Miko called me to borrow fifty thousand Kenyan shillings. Really, I didn’t mind sending him that money, but because my mother had just requested my financial assistance the previous day, it felt as if I was parting with a huge sum of money altogether, so I was hesitant.
“Babe, I don’t know if I can lend you that money now. I just sent my mother money yesterday, I can’t part with extra cash in the same week,” I said.
“I’m not your mom darling, be sure that I will refund you the cash first thing tomorrow morning.” He explained.
“What about the 20k I gave you the week before we went to Diani? When should I expect it back?”
I thought I heard him click and curse under his breath, but he was adamant that it was probably someone in his background that clicked.
“No, but darling I heard you clicking babe. Like literally—”
“Listen, send me the money if you want to, I’m not going to beg you for petty cash. What kind of disrespect is this? He sounded angry.
I was silent and after he clicked again, he asked, “Baby girl? Are you sending the money?”
I hung up.
He wouldn’t stop calling, sending apologies and insisting that I send him the money, we’ll sort out the issue later. His desperation raised my antennas and I figured that no rich man would beg me to send him money like he was. Something was definitely amiss and the followers on my comment section about his watches were right. I decided to dig deep.
I had been fooled, once more. I was not only paying for the trips that we took out of Nairobi, but I was also paying for the dates and virtually everything in this man’s life. A quick check through my bank accounts and Mpesa transactions laid bare the fact that this man was using my money to charm me. Damn! He is truly Simon Leviev’s student because he got me good!
I called him about four hours later after accessing my finances and I was boiling with fury.
“Hey baby, I can see you came back to your senses. Have you sent the money yet?” He asked.
“Miko! You are a thief. A con artist. What the hell? Did you think you’d never get caught?” I screamed.
“You are the fool in this scenario. I had everything to gain, you have lost big time.” He answered arrogantly.
“You heard me right. There’s nothing natively intriguing about you. You are just a low-life woman with expensive taste. Screw you!” He hangs up.
The arrogance with which he addressed me was infuriating. I contemplated invoking the law into the matter, but I was very afraid of the public shaming my followers would put me through. I quietly resolved to delete my social media pages as I dealt with my embarrassment in private. I have things I would like to tell Miko, but it’s a shame he ghosted me and it’s as if he doesn’t exist anywhere under the Nairobi sun.
This story was inspired by a story we saw on social media. Here is the tweet about a con man who uses women’s money to seduce them.
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