The biggest mistake I ever made was moving in with a man with an abusive man. I believed Victor’s lies but his actions told a different story. He was usually hot and cold towards me. One minute, he would shower me with praise and adoration then the next, he would be hailing insults at me over small issues. He knew exactly what to do to make me fall in love with him and I did. I couldn’t leave him no matter how drained I felt in the relationship. However, I reached my limit and decided to move out.
Victor and I met by pure coincidence. We attended the same party and he spent the whole night pursuing me. I’m usually cautious about everything and everyone and he was no exception. However, he proved himself as a good man so I gave him a chance. In the beginning, he was the perfect gentleman. He took care of all my bills even without me asking. We went out regularly and we had lots of good moments.
Three months after meeting, he asked me to move out of my apartment and move in with him. He lived in a nice apartment in Kilimani with another roommate. However, the roommate got his own place and Victor thought it was a good idea if we lived together. It was pretty fast and if it was anyone else, I wouldn’t have taken the offer. Victor was the exception. He just had a way to convince me. Additionally, he had taken care of me since we met and I didnt think he would change.
“What about the bills?” I asked just so I knew what I was getting myself into.
“I’ll take care of everything. I just want you here with me.”
After confirming that I wouldn’t have to pay any bills, I started preparing to move out. I had to give out or sell a lot of my belongings since his apartment was fully furnished. Nonetheless, he sent a moving company to my place to get my stuff and within a few hours, I was at his place.
“Welcome home.” He said with a huge smile.
I really felt at home for the first months. He treated me like a queen, cooked for me and had a cleaner come every day to clean the apartment. I was happy but I felt like I wasn’t doing enough to keep myself busy. I was getting bored and wanted to make some new friends.
Victor was a bit possessive. He felt insecure about me socializing so he always needed to know where I was and who I was with. It felt strange asking someone for permission to go out so I stopped visiting my friends or inviting them over since he would alway embarrass me in front of them.
“Why is he so rude?” One of my friends asked after he started criticizing them.
“He’s like that. Let’s just leave.”
My friends left and never came back again.
On the other hand, he always had his male friends over. He made it clear that he didn’t want me to interact with them since they weren’t “good people”. I was okay with it and any time they came over, I would greet them and go to the bedroom.
However, after being cooped up in the apartment for two months straight, I needed to socialize. I had made one friend in the apartment and I decided to visit her. I didn’t think he would have an issue and even if he did, I didn’t care. Being in that apartment was taking a toll on my mental health.
“Where are you?”
“I’m at Ida’s apartment.”
“That was a huge mistake.” I said to Ida after hanging up.
A few minutes later, we heard a loud knock on the door. Ida went to open it and it was Victor.
“Where is my wife?” He asked angrily, forcing his way inside.
“What are you doing?” Ida tried to protest but he ignored her.
“Get up and go back to the apartment. If you keep doing things to anger me, you will move out.”
It wasn’t the first time that he threatened to make me move out. I thought they were just empty threats since we would reconcile immediately after the argument. However, I was always tempted to actually move out. He may have treated me like a queen most of the time but I also had to give up a lot of things including my freedom.
I lived with him for almost a year but it got to a point where I needed to move out. I couldn’t live like that anymore. Luckily, I had saved enough money to pay for an apartment and furnish it. I had already told him that I was moving out and he didn’t seem to have an issue with it. However, he insisted that we were not breaking up and I was okay with it.
“When are you leaving?” He asked coldly.
“In two weeks.” I answered.
As I went about my business trying to furnish my apartment within a few weeks, I had no idea that Victor was entertaining another girl in his apartment. I returned home one day and found suitcases in the living room. Then I saw a young girl walking towards me from the kitchen. At first, I thought she was a cleaner but she introduced herself as Victor’s girlfriend.
“What? I’m his girlfriend.”
“No, you’re his ex. I’m his new girlfriend.” She said.
Victor came into the living room just in time before I landed a hot slap on the girl’s face.
“Babe, what’s going on?” I asked. “I thought you said we weren’t breaking up.”
“Things have changed. Get your things and leave.”
“My apartment isn’t even ready.”
“That’s not my problem.”
I had to move out that day as the girl sat on the same couch I had sat on for a whole year and ate the food he had prepared. I could feel tears trickling down my face but I tried to stay strong. After I finished packing, I moved to a friend’s place where I stayed until I finished furnishing my apartment. I still have a lot of trauma from that whole experience and haven’t been able to get in another relationship since then.
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