The current love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. These are ways that people give and express love. Knowing your partner’s preferred love language can help you know how to better connect and show love and appreciation. Words of affirmation are considered the primary love language. But this can still vary among people. However, with the two new love languages, it’s possible to cultivate an even richer relationship.
They are – shared experiences and emotional security.
How to identify your love language
Observe how you respond to things that your partner does. Do you feel happiest when they pay you a compliment or when they hold your hand? Perhaps when they buy you a gift to show you, they were thinking of you. Do you like it best when they help with chores without being asked or surprising you with a trip together? Is it best to go out together and spend time in each other’s company? There are multiple quizzes online to help you figure out your and your partner’s love language.
Love languages aren’t about compatibility. Your goal shouldn’t be to find someone who shares a love language with you. Rather, it’s about knowing how to create closeness with your partner. They are a cheat sheet to know the most direct way to appreciate your partner. However, they shouldn’t be a substitute for honest communication or a way to shortcut to apologise when you make a mistake.
The two new love languages
1. Shared Experience
If creating memories together is how you get the most joy out of your relationship, odds are shared experiences is your love language. This can range from doing game nights with friends or ziplining together. It differs from quality time because it focuses more on going for new memories.
This is less inward than quality time, where you seek to reconnect. With shared experiences, it’s about going on adventures and creating new memories together. Intentionally going out to forge new bonds makes up the shared experience.
This is your love language if you feel closer to your partner after going out together, love completing tasks together, always prefer company when going out, feel closest with your partner when making new memories, and when you prefer being active with your partner.
Shared experiences can be tricky to navigate if your partner is an introvert or prefers more intimate love languages. You don’t want them to get too out of their comfort zone to show you they appreciate you. A simple tip to keep things easy is to focus on memories rather than the cost. Doing tasks like going shopping or travelling together can help you create new memories.
Read also: Tips For Travelling Together As A Couple
However, you should be careful not to focus on thrills. The best memories can be made with minimal effort. It can also create co-dependency if you have to do all your activities with your partner. Don’t constantly pressure your partner to do activities to prove they love you.
2. Emotional security
This can also be placed under quality time, but it mainly focuses on how much you feel closer to your partner during pillow talk. If you feel loved and appreciated when you and your partner share their innermost intimate details, emotional security is your love language.
Meeting your truest self with love and acceptance results in emotional security. These conversations dig a little deeper for a stronger connection. If you like asking many questions, feel closest to your partner when they’re sharing secrets, hopes, or dreams, think deeply and listen closely, wear your heart on your sleeve, or enjoy scary conversations, then this may be your love language.
This is a difficult love language to establish unless a level of intimacy has been established. Many people may feel more comfortable sharing their deepest secrets with people they’ve only known a long time. If your partner is reticent, you may struggle to get this intimate. It requires a lot of trust and vulnerability. There are hard-hitting questions you can ask your partner to get them to open up to you.
However, emotional security can easily turn into emotional co-dependency. Don’t become over-reliant on your partner for emotional support. Give each other balanced support to ensure that one partner isn’t overwhelmed by the emotional needs of the other.
Check out:
Relationships: A Guide To Learning Your Partner’s Love Language
Relationships: 5 Apology Languages/Styles
Relationships: 8 Daily Habits Of Happy Couples
Organisation And Communication Habits That People Can Learn From Neurodivergent Couples
Relationships: 5 Date Night Ideas To Try Out
10 Fun Ways Families Can Spend Quality Time Together
