When a couple wants to get married, in certain cultures, the groom’s family has to pay a certain fee to the bride’s family. After this, the groom gets permission to wed. In some instances, the bride price is a token of appreciation from the groom’s family. Additionally, it can be gifts such as livestock, cutlery, clothes, or money.
Under customary law, some cultures see the full payment of bride price as a sealing of the marriage. It’s considered a replacement for the loss of labour to the bride’s family since she will be leaving her family to join her husband’s family. But perhaps, bride price has lost its place in modern society.
Why is bride price still a thing?
The idea behind bride price is to encourage women to be well-mannered and valuable to attract the wealthiest husbands. Traditionally, people lived to get married and work in their homesteads for the commune’s prosperity. If a woman married a man of means, her children would have a better-secured livelihood. Her family would also stand to gain from the union.
Currently, bride price is sometimes just a formality. It shows the bride’s family approves the wedding. The bride price is determined in discussions between the bride’s family’s patriarchs and the groom’s family.
The idea behind assigning monetary value to a woman is dated and comes from a place of patriarchal control. In extreme cases, families coerce women to show themselves as high value by promoting outdated ideals, such as virginity or being submissive. It also places an undue burden on men to be providers and breadwinners when women can be just as capable. Instead of entering partnerships on mutual respect, and love, the bride price creates a monetary agreement that can lead to dire consequences.
Why bride price should be discontinued
The premise of a group of men discussing the value of a woman being married off into another family is unnecessary. All humans have inherent value that isn’t measured by how many sexual partners they’ve had or how well they perform gender roles. The joining of two families should be a cause for celebration where both parties contribute to the best of their abilities.
When a couple decides to get married, a man shouldn’t ask permission from his partner’s parents. He is marrying the woman, not her parents. Meeting them should be out of courtesy and to forge a friendship since the families will be linked through the marriage.
The assignation of monetary value to unmarried women breeds a situation where young women can be forced into marriage for money. Studies show that some people still practice child marriage because younger women fetch a higher bride price. In situations of poverty and where sources of livelihood are lost due to the climate crisis, inflation, and other systemic issues, families often try to sell off their girls into marriage to secure funding to survive. This creates a human trafficking element where families can exploit girls and young women in their families for money.
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Research also shows that bride price increases the risk of intimate partner violence. When an abusive husband assumes his wife isn’t living up to the money paid for her, she can be attacked. In addition, some families force the victim of abuse to remain in an abusive marriage because they can’t afford to refund the bride price already paid.
Bride price is also used to ensure that the woman remains within the marriage to ensure the children are taken care of. This is because society places the burden of childcare on mothers. Marital duties should be shared equally, with the couple contributing what they can to the best of their abilities. But patriarchal practices like bride price make it impossible to evolve from such traditions.
Is it all bad?
Not necessarily. Studies show that bride price has been linked to increased instances of educating girls. In Indonesia and Zambia, an educated woman will likely fetch a higher bride price because her labour is more valuable. She is considered to be more productive. In these countries, communities that still use bride prices send more girls to school.
Research in Tanzania also found that higher bride prices led to higher self-esteem among wives. However, the risk of domestic abuse was still high. The higher the bride price, the less agency the wives had.
There can be a small argument made for bride price as a tool to incentivize the education of women. Some can also suggest that it is a nest egg meant to help the couple have security to start their lives. But it rings hollow when women are still being paid for as if they’re commodities. The practice is harmless when used as a formality to officiate a customary marriage. But wouldn’t it be for the greater good to have a symbol of union that doesn’t still portray women as property to be exchanged from her father to her husband?
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