The world is set up for and favours able-bodied people. Often concerns about disabled people are an afterthought. This discrimination and prejudice against people with disabilities is called ableism. It manifests in different ways from beliefs that disabled people are not as valuable as their able-bodied counterparts to the inaccessible physical architecture in which we live. As with other forms of discrimination, it can be intentional or unintentional as a result of social conditioning in a society that views the able-bodied as the default and the priority.
Ableism is one of the most common and strongest forms of implicit and explicit bias surpassing gender, race, weight and sexuality and is only surpassed by ageism. We are all implicated. Hopefully, we identify ways we’ve been erring and change.
Let’s talk about some examples of ableism and then listen to some disabled people on Twitter share the most ableist things they’ve ever been told.
Examples of ableism
Ableism can take many different forms so an exhaustive list is not possible. Ableism can be interpersonal or institutional, hostile or benevolent.
Institutional or structural ableism is wide-reaching, for example, medical ableism is rooted in the idea that disability of any kind needs fixing while interpersonal takes place in social interactions and relationships, for example between a parent and child with the parent trying to cure the child.
Hostile includes aggressive behaviour like bullying and abuse while benevolent includes things like viewing disabled people as weak, or in need of rescuing which can be patronizing reinforcing an unequal power dynamic. Here are some common examples:
- Believing people with disabilities have less value and worth
- Assuming they want to be ‘healed’ or can ‘overcome’ a disability
- Assuming they lead an unhappy, limited life
- Suggesting they’re ‘inspirational’ for handling everyday activities and routine tasks
- Assuming a physical disability is a product of laziness or lack of exercise
- Assuming they can’t do things for themselves
- Using words like ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ to describe non-disabled people
- Asking intrusive questions about someone’s disability
- Asking someone what is ‘wrong’ with them
- Touching someone, or any equipment or devices they use without permission
- Ignoring requests for accommodations or refusing to acknowledge someone’s disability
- Refusing to use the terms someone requests like ‘deaf person’ or ‘neurodivergent’ or ‘wheelchair user’
- Questioning whether a person’s disability is real
- Saying, ‘You do not look disabled’, as though this is a compliment
- Using public facilities that are for people with disabilities such as parking spaces or toilets
- Using ableist language especially after someone asks you to stop e.g. common terms like ‘I am so OCD’ or saying something is ‘dumb’ or ‘lame’ which were originally used to describe disabilities
On a larger scale ableism includes inaccessible design in buildings, public spaces and more as well as education and employment discrimination to name a few.
Disabled people on Twitter speak
In response to a prompt from disability activist Imani Barbarin, Twitter users shared their experiences with ableism spanning from the workplace to medicine, academia and their personal lives.
1. You don’t deserve to live and other stories
My mother told me that she wishes she had "genetic counseling" before having me. https://t.co/gfmEIWImnI
— Kennedy🌸 (@RootedLoveBlueR) April 3, 2023
Along with the explicit assertion that you shouldn't "pass down your disability" is the implicit assertion that your parents shouldn't have, either. That you should never have been born.
It's eugenics all the way down. https://t.co/tM1brXKm0K
— Dandi Andi (@Dandi_Andie) April 3, 2023
Co-worker and I talking while daycare kids are sleeping. I told her I was pregnant. “What are you going to do? Can you take care of it?” Says she while we’re sitting watching 13 three-year-olds sleep. https://t.co/tHGDjZhzZc
— Jamie (@jlynnaz) April 3, 2023
Ableism.
I've heard the whole passing it on to my kids and how can I raise kids the most depending on what disability they are focused on.
You should've heard the shit I got for wanting a baby. She's 3mos now. I ditch people like this. I have no room for ableism. https://t.co/cvss8F8n4N
— Moss (@Mossymuse) April 3, 2023
ooh this is gonna be a long thread but here we go.
-my mom should have abort€d me
-my mom shouldn’t have donated her liver and just let me ⚰️
-i am wasting tax dollars (??)
-why use a wheelchair? you can walk.
-well you’re so young so you’re fine
+++ https://t.co/sdjBMxMT5O— archer / clay 🍂 4/13 (@cinnamongum28) April 3, 2023
If i had a dollar for every time I was told that wanting children was selfish because i'd unfairly pass my deformities onto an innocent life/lives https://t.co/aV7Y6Hz74S
— The Book Of Dré: Chap. 47(Attunement)♑♒ (@Tripping_Crutch) April 3, 2023
“If it/that was me, I would've killed myself..”
context: my life experience/confidence/ strength – convo has happened every so often and the person rarely realizes what they're saying of themselves. https://t.co/ZSkUCX2cR1
— Flowbewankenobi (@dejonsimmons) April 3, 2023
2. You don’t deserve love
My doctor once shook my boyfriend’s hand and said, in front of me, said “You’re a better man than me for sticking with her through this” in reference to my health. 🙃 https://t.co/pDHGvR6lIj
— Sammie Rose (@Samroseb22) April 2, 2023
Praising my husband for taking care of me. Everyone takes it for granted when I take care of him. https://t.co/OtoYsVHYs7
— Eugenia L. Pascual, she/her 💚🔞♍🏳️🌈 (@PascualEugenia) April 3, 2023
OH a really ""good"" one was when i went to my doctor to start looking into anxiety medication and she says out loud "we need to get you medicated because think of how your partner feels." BITCH WHAT ABOUT ME???? https://t.co/IUBOclHBzR
— tiny king 🐀 (@angyandtired) April 3, 2023
3. About work
Me seeking work accommodation.
Them: “what do you want. Do you not want to work?”
Shocked me to my core as I was doing everything I could to keep work attachment. https://t.co/tLFnJPeZQF— Dr Lindsay Tedds 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇮🇪 (@LindsayTedds) April 2, 2023
“I wish i could just stay home all the stay. Must be nice to not have to work.” https://t.co/B20W0Wq9sZ
— a little they/them (@hazeyhail) April 3, 2023
My ex-boss said that you can achieve anything no matter what your ability is *then they turned to me and add* or "dis-ability" is.
Ironic given that they couldn't handle my disability so I got fired. Wheeeeee!! 😂 https://t.co/3k8bOQeFMo
— Saqib W Ali (@Saqib_W_Ali) April 3, 2023
“You’re not disabled, you can do X”
“The only disability is a bad attitude”
“Just lose weight/Be vegan/do essential oils” https://t.co/gtqODxEhWq— Twitch.tv/R1ngBanana (she/her) (@R1ngBanana) April 3, 2023
4. Doctors weigh in
Honestly my favorite will always be telling an anesthesiologist that I was disabled so he suddenly backpedaled on his stand about maintain my DNR through surgery. https://t.co/HQbLtUdCoy pic.twitter.com/tNXIYrYBxJ
— Sque Morgan (@adreamingone) April 3, 2023
This isn’t the ableist comment I’ve heard the most, but it is the most recent:
I saw neuro last week & described the worst of my pain as being “like my muscle is being filleted from my bone”
At the end of the appt the neuro said “I hope you start feeling better soon” 🫠 https://t.co/WLnmmmnAqG
— nitzevet lev (@AuntEphah) April 3, 2023
After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, the very first thing out of the doctor's mouth was: "I recommend not having children." https://t.co/zTTs7IkpAK
— V (@Pine_Mtn_Girl) April 3, 2023
5. Just general ableism
“If you’re obedient, God will make you whole in the next life.”
“Disabilities are mortal tries made to test your faith.”
“Abortion should only be allowed in instances of rape, incest, or disabilities!”
“You’re not disabled. You’re *insert something patronizing here*” https://t.co/vYXT2yx564
— The Intersectional Anansesem (@Tarantrinn) April 3, 2023
“you don’t look autistic”……….and then they go silent when ask them what the fuck they mean by that? https://t.co/hRExwsk8NP
— JAX (@chxse999x) April 3, 2023
Older people basically telling me that I can't complain about how my body feels because I'm younger and they think their body feels worse. Also, the classic "You don't look sick" type of bullshit. https://t.co/GiMt5ToBoo
— Ashley (@skogenskvinna) April 3, 2023
when i started putting on weight & slowing down from pcos fatigue, a lot of men jumped out the woodwork w fatphobic comments & even well meaning ppl with the "oh you'll snap back" meanwhile i could barely function & wasn't worried abt being snatched https://t.co/wtZRwupGGp
— Becca O'Neal 🍒 (@becca_oneal) April 3, 2023
When regular/people with unseen disabilities have a mental crisis it's they are just have a “bad day.”
When you do, it reinforces their stigma of you being weak, complex, and problematic to the group/brand/structure/society…
So you can't afford to “act out” https://t.co/ZSkUCX2cR1
— Flowbewankenobi (@dejonsimmons) April 3, 2023
"you clearly dont even care that your life is a mess" or "do you even care?". this to someone with extreme executive dysfunction and chronic pain…
i joke and make light of my situation cos if i was to treat it seriously all the time id be fucking screaming. https://t.co/Q8K7fd80b3— tails et alia 🔞 (@tailsetalia) April 3, 2023
lately i’ve been getting “what’s wrong with you?” pretty often when people notice my ankle braces, which is not super. i work in patient care so i’m honest so that they might see me, a disabled HCW, as normal. but i’ve heard this almost every shift with my more noticeable AFOs. https://t.co/waq4FnUeXs
— a sentient heating pad (@arlo_grace) April 3, 2023
In conclusion
Listen. Read. Catch yourself. https://t.co/h9iGIng1Ws
— GenericX😷🌎♥️🏔️🏀🌊 (@NanaB_2010) April 3, 2023
Check out
From Stairs To Ramps: 5 Things To Avoid Saying To A Disabled Person
How Should We Feel About Making Jokes About Disability And Disabled People?
From Stairs To Ramps: Inclusion And Its Effect On Self Advocacy