Ableism: Persons With Disabilities Share The Most Ableist Things They've Ever Been Told

The world is set up for and favours able-bodied people. Often concerns about disabled people are an afterthought. This discrimination and prejudice against people with disabilities is called ableism. It manifests in different ways from beliefs that disabled people are not as valuable as their able-bodied counterparts to the inaccessible physical architecture in which we live. As with other forms of discrimination, it can be intentional or unintentional as a result of social conditioning in a society that views the able-bodied as the default and the priority.

Ableism is one of the most common and strongest forms of implicit and explicit bias surpassing gender, race, weight and sexuality and is only surpassed by ageism. We are all implicated. Hopefully, we identify ways we’ve been erring and change.

Let’s talk about some examples of ableism and then listen to some disabled people on Twitter share the most ableist things they’ve ever been told.

Examples of ableism

Ableism can take many different forms so an exhaustive list is not possible. Ableism can be interpersonal or institutional, hostile or benevolent.

Institutional or structural ableism is wide-reaching, for example, medical ableism is rooted in the idea that disability of any kind needs fixing while interpersonal takes place in social interactions and relationships, for example between a parent and child with the parent trying to cure the child.

Hostile includes aggressive behaviour like bullying and abuse while benevolent includes things like viewing disabled people as weak, or in need of rescuing which can be patronizing reinforcing an unequal power dynamic. Here are some common examples:

Believing people with disabilities have less value and worth
Assuming they want to be ‘healed’ or can ‘overcome’ a disability
Assuming they lead an unhappy, limited life
Suggesting they’re ‘inspirational’ for handling everyday activities and routine tasks
Assuming a physical disability is a product of laziness or lack of exercise
Assuming they can’t do things for themselves
Using words like ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ to describe non-disabled people
Asking intrusive questions about someone’s disability
Asking someone what is ‘wrong’ with them
Touching someone, or any equipment or devices they use without permission
Ignoring requests for accommodations or refusing to acknowledge someone’s disability
Refusing to use the terms someone requests like ‘deaf person’ or ‘neurodivergent’ or ‘wheelchair user’
Questioning whether a person’s disability is real
Saying, ‘You do not look disabled’, as though this is a compliment
Using public facilities that are for people with disabilities such as parking spaces or toilets
Using ableist language especially after someone asks you to stop e.g. common terms like ‘I am so OCD’ or saying something is ‘dumb’ or ‘lame’ which were originally used to describe disabilities

On a larger scale ableism includes inaccessible design in buildings, public spaces and more as well as education and employment discrimination to name a few.

Disabled people on Twitter speak

In response to a prompt from disability activist Imani Barbarin, Twitter users shared their experiences with ableism spanning from the workplace to medicine, academia and their personal lives.

1. You don’t deserve to live and other stories

https://twitter.com/RootedLoveBlueR/status/1642905585761878018

https://twitter.com/Dandi_Andie/status/1642702903696654336

Co-worker and I talking while daycare kids are sleeping. I told her I was pregnant. “What are you going to do? Can you take care of it?” Says she while we’re sitting watching 13 three-year-olds sleep. https://t.co/tHGDjZhzZc

— Jamie (@jlynnaz) April 3, 2023

Ableism.

I've heard the whole passing it on to my kids and how can I raise kids the most depending on what disability they are focused on.

You should've heard the shit I got for wanting a baby. She's 3mos now. I ditch people like this. I have no room for ableism. https://t.co/cvss8F8n4N

— Moss (@Mossymuse) April 3, 2023

ooh this is gonna be a long thread but here we go.

-my mom should have abort€d me
-my mom shouldn’t have donated her liver and just let me ⚰️
-i am wasting tax dollars (??)
-why use a wheelchair? you can walk.
-well you’re so young so you’re fine
+++ https://t.co/sdjBMxMT5O

— archer / clay 🎬 4/13 10/18 (@cinnamongum28) April 3, 2023

If i had a dollar for every time I was told that wanting children was selfish because i'd unfairly pass my deformities onto an innocent life/lives https://t.co/aV7Y6Hz74S

— Enter the DEI (36 Chambers of Woke) (@Tripping_Crutch) April 3, 2023

“If it/that was me, I would've killed myself..”

context: my life experience/confidence/ strength – convo has happened every so often and the person rarely realizes what they're saying of themselves. https://t.co/ZSkUCX2cR1

— djéli (@dejonsimmons) April 3, 2023

2. You don’t deserve love

My doctor once shook my boyfriend’s hand and said, in front of me, said “You’re a better man than me for sticking with her through this” in reference to my health. 🙃 https://t.co/pDHGvR6lIj

— Sammie Rose (@Samroseb22) April 2, 2023

Praising my husband for taking care of me. Everyone takes it for granted when I take care of him. https://t.co/OtoYsVHYs7

— Eugenia L. Pascual, she/her 💚🔞♍🏳️‍🌈 (@PascualEugenia) April 3, 2023

https://twitter.com/angyandtired/status/1642743529611853826

3. About work

https://twitter.com/LindsayTedds/status/1642670131468984320

https://twitter.com/hazeyhail/status/1642698920462516224

My ex-boss said that you can achieve anything no matter what your ability is *then they turned to me and add* or "dis-ability" is.

Ironic given that they couldn't handle my disability so I got fired. Wheeeeee!! 😂 https://t.co/3k8bOQeFMo

— Saqib W Ali 🍉 (@Saqib_W_Ali) April 3, 2023

“You’re not disabled, you can do X”
“The only disability is a bad attitude”
“Just lose weight/Be vegan/do essential oils” https://t.co/gtqODxEhWq

— Twitch.tv/R1ngBanana (she/her) (@R1ngBanana) April 3, 2023

4. Doctors weigh in

https://twitter.com/adreamingone/status/1642697344536674305

https://twitter.com/AuntEphah/status/1642744537587273728

After being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, the very first thing out of the doctor's mouth was: "I recommend not having children." https://t.co/zTTs7IkpAK

— V (@Pine_Mtn_Girl) April 3, 2023

5. Just general ableism

“If you’re obedient, God will make you whole in the next life.”

“Disabilities are mortal tries made to test your faith.”

“Abortion should only be allowed in instances of rape, incest, or disabilities!”

“You’re not disabled. You’re *insert something patronizing here*” https://t.co/vYXT2yx564

— The Intersectional Anansesem (@Tarantrinn) April 3, 2023

“you don’t look autistic”……….and then they go silent when ask them what the fuck they mean by that? https://t.co/hRExwsk8NP

— loading (@chxse999x) April 3, 2023

Older people basically telling me that I can't complain about how my body feels because I'm younger and they think their body feels worse. Also, the classic "You don't look sick" type of bullshit. https://t.co/GiMt5ToBoo

— Ashley (@skogenskvinna) April 3, 2023

when i started putting on weight & slowing down from pcos fatigue, a lot of men jumped out the woodwork w fatphobic comments & even well meaning ppl with the "oh you'll snap back" meanwhile i could barely function & wasn't worried abt being snatched https://t.co/wtZRwupGGp

— Becca O'Neal 🍒 (@becca_oneal) April 3, 2023

When regular/people with unseen disabilities have a mental crisis it's they are just have a “bad day.”

When you do, it reinforces their stigma of you being weak, complex, and problematic to the group/brand/structure/society…

So you can't afford to “act out” https://t.co/ZSkUCX2cR1

— djéli (@dejonsimmons) April 3, 2023

https://twitter.com/tailsetalia/status/1642696521048264704

https://twitter.com/arlo_grace/status/1642753528383827970