If you have been on the internet then you have probably heard of Andrew Tate. He’s a social media personality who has a lot of controversial opinions, especially about women and gender roles. He made headlines recently after he was arrested for sex trafficking. For me, I barely knew about him. I would hear his name but I never watched or listened to any of his videos for obvious reasons. I also didn’t expect to meet someone who knew about him let alone was his fan. However, I was actually surprised at how many men listened to him.
When news broke that Andrew Tate was arrested that was all anyone in my age group would talk about. In the office, guys were having debates about how he was basically saying what every man was thinking. I hardly participated in those debates since there was no winning. It was a men vs women thing which I preferred to stay away from.
Around the same time, I returned to the dating scene after being single for months. Lucky for me, I met someone that I was physically attracted to and he asked me out. It was the quickest yes I ever said in my life. New Year’s was around the corner and I didn’t want to be alone. I know it sounds pathetic but that’s the reality.
“Can we meet up tonight?” He asked the same day that we had met.
“Sure,” I said.
“Okay. Go home, get ready and I’ll call you in a couple of hours.”
For whatever reason, I found his controlling voice so sexy. I think I had also been in a relationship where I did whatever I wanted and I craved a little control in my life. Coincidentally, the first guy that I was attracted to turned out to be a misogynist.
At around 10.30 pm, the guy called. I was already in bed so I didn’t pick up. He called a few times before giving up. The following morning, I sent him a text and he called back.
“Hey. What happened?”
“I was asleep,” I answered.
“You knew we were to meet.”
“You said at 8 pm.”
“Okay. What are you doing today? Let’s go for breakfast.” He suggested.
I can’t turn down a breakfast date so I agreed. This time, he was prompt. By 11 am, he was already waiting for me. I directed him to my place and when he arrived, I went down and we headed to the mall for breakfast.
At first, things were going normally. I noticed that he talked a lot and had a few misogynist opinions but I could easily overlook them. After a while, I noticed that he didn’t just have misogynistic views, he was misogynistic. Then I remembered the heated debate that people had in the office about Andrew Tate and decided to bring it up with him.
“Are you an Andrew Tate fan?”
I didn’t expect him to say yes or even know who he was. However, his eyes grew wider and he flashed a big smile.
“Fan? I’m an Andrew Tate superfan. I have watched all his videos and interviews.” He said with so much confidence.
I couldn’t help but laugh. The way he perked up at the mention of Andrew Tate’s name was hilarious. Of course, I was also curious why he was a superfan.
“He’s speaking the truth. Everything he says is true. Men and women are not equal.”
“So, who is above the other?” I asked sarcastically.
“Men, of course.”
He went on and on for almost an hour about how Andrew Tate is speaking the truth. However, at that point, I had lost complete interest in him and I was looking forward to the end of the date. The other issue was that he didn’t listen. He thought he knew everything about everything, even women’s reproduction. When he started talking about body clocks and geriatric pregnancies, I confirmed my suspicions about him.
He, like many of Andrew Tate’s fans, was a man who couldn’t keep a woman. He simply didn’t know anything about women and based his understanding of women on biases and stereotypes. I started questioning my taste or maybe it was a dry spell that clouded my judgment.
I also learnt that he had a child but wasn’t living with the mother of the child. Worse, he hadn’t seen his child in 5 years. That was the biggest red flag that sent me packing. You can be an Andrew Tate fan, you can even be a misogynist. However, if you can’t keep a family, I can’t even fathom a life with you.
For the sake of understanding him more, I lent him a listening ear. He ranted about how women weaponize their children (surprise, surprise). Of course, according to him, it’s the woman’s fault when a relationship doesn’t work out.
“I need to go.” I said without any other explanation.
Funny enough, after ranting about how women are evil, he still offered to take me home. We got to my apartment and I couldn’t get out of the car fast enough.
“I’ll call you in the evening.” He said as I got out but I didn’t reply.
After spending a few hours with an Andrew Tate superfan, I came to understand where many of them were coming from. They were either deeply hurt in a previous relationship or had some kind of personal issues with women.
For somebody who was an Andrew Tate superfan, this guy was actually good. He was kind and courteous. He complimented me and made sure I was okay. Honestly, he treated me better than some of the guys I had dated in the past. However, his opinions were too extreme for me to consider being in a relationship with him. What if he was simply pretending so I could put down my guard, date him and then he turns out to be a clone of Andrew Tate? He had actually brought up something about Onlyfans.
Anyway, I know I dodged a bullet. I ghosted him for a week and I think he finally got the message because he stopped contacting me.
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