Have you ever seen a person handling their child so well that you cannot help but categorize them as unique in a good way? They are patient and pay as much attention as they can even when a toddler’s tantrums go overboard. You have probably seen this from various social media posts too.
On these posts, the children had tantrums and the parent took time to go through the pain the child is experiencing with them.
One question that one may have in mind is what makes this parenting style so different and unique, yet in a good way that is admirable? This is a question that brings us to intentional parenting.
When one becomes a parent, one notices that there is a conventional way of bringing up a child. This includes the methods used to correct a child’s negative behaviour. At this point, one can choose to be conventional or engage in a different parenting process from the one we were brought up with.
Intentional parenting involves not just going with the current flow or taking things as they come but intentional parenting consists of the process of actively searching, studying, and pondering what kind of a parent one would want to be. It does not end there; one then goes ahead to plan and act to be the parent they envision themselves.
Features of Intentional Parenting
These are aspects that make up intentional parenting.
1. It takes a profound reflection on how you were raised
The one way that people raise their children is by imitating how they were raised. This imitation happens unconsciously, where one will use corrective measures for behaviour as used on them by their parents. Also to note is that one may also communicate to their child the way their parents communicated to them.
Intentional parenting involves sitting down and doing an in-depth reflection on how you were raised. Here, one needs to look at the good and bad ways along the process and decide what to take up one’s parenting process.
It takes understanding how you were brought up and what specific aspects one is willing to include in their parenting. One would need to do this reflection as the parent that they are now and not the child that one was.
2. Having a conversation with your spouse is another step towards intentional Parenting.
If it is a two parented home, then there would be a need for a deep conversation on this. Parenting would be teamwork in this case, and there would be no better way to do this than through ensuring that the two of you are on the same page.
Your spouse would need to understand where your motivation comes from and the details of everything you want to do, meaning that you will have to communicate your reflections and how differently you want to parent your children.
3. Have a clear vision of the type of child you’d want to raise
As you do all the reflections and conversations, another critical thing to do is to have a clear vision of what you want to achieve through deliberate parenting. How do you want your child to communicate? How would you want your child to treat other people? How would you want them to act? These are fundamental questions to ask oneself as one prepares to enter intentional parenting.
Having a vision of the type of person you want your child to be will guide the process of deliberate parenting. If you want your child to be respectful and kind, always remember this.
4. Create routines that put the vision going
One would need to create a routine that incorporates everything in the vision, which the children will live daily. The practice will create a stable environment that will allow them to learn these features you want them to have.
5. Discipline Your Child in a way that encourages thriving
As much as one has every other thing in check, without discipline intentional parenting may not be effective. Through intentional parenting, a parent ensures that he or she disciplines the child reasonably and in a healthy way. The aim is to ensure that the bad behaviour is corrected in a way that leaves the child healthy and thriving.
Establishing a routine is not enough – a parent who wants to be intentional needs to ensure consistency in keeping this routine at work. Everything that one views as monumental must be worked on. Observing a way for a month and forgetting about it will not efficiently instil the desired features in a child. The practice needs to happen all the time.
Be intentional about finding time to spend together. Time with your child will also ensure that you know more about how your child is developing in regard to the vision you have for them.
9. Lead by Example
Apart from doing everything right regarding intentional parenting, during the parenting process, do not forget to be a good example. Children are likely to focus on your actions more than the words that you say to them. Act in ways that would be a good example to them in the long run.
I am a writer currently focusing on the short story genre. So far, I have written other genres that have been published including trending stories.