Potentash
  • Relationships
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Dating
    • Sex
    • Parenting
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Food + Beverage
    • Fashion
    • Interviews
  • Stories
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Fiction
    • Poetry
  • Skin + Beauty
    • Skin
      • Skincare
    • Hair
      • Haircare
  • Wellness
    • Physical Health
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Mental Wellness
    • Social Wellness
    • Spiritual Wellness
  • Business
    • Business Finance
    • Personal Finance
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Investments
    • Personal Investments
  • Entertainment
    • Internet
    • Events
    • Music
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
Potentash
  • Relationships
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Dating
    • Sex
    • Parenting
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Food + Beverage
    • Fashion
    • Interviews
  • Stories
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Fiction
    • Poetry
  • Skin + Beauty
    • Skin
      • Skincare
    • Hair
      • Haircare
  • Wellness
    • Physical Health
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Mental Wellness
    • Social Wellness
    • Spiritual Wellness
  • Business
    • Business Finance
    • Personal Finance
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Investments
    • Personal Investments
  • Entertainment
    • Internet
    • Events
    • Music
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
Potentash
No Result
View All Result
How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Image from https://omozua.com/5718/heres-how-to-save-yourself-from-self-sabotage/

Common Ways We Self-Sabotage Relationships

Nereah Obimbo by Nereah Obimbo
20 November 2022
in Relationships
Reading Time: 4 mins read
6 0
0
9
SHARES
43
VIEWS
FacebookTwitterWhatsApp

Self-sabotage is when you act in ways that unconsciously move you farther away from an intimate connection with your partner. One or both partners could be doing it. Let’s talk about the common ways people self-sabotage their relationships and why they do it.

Reasons why people self-sabotage

Trauma: trauma from childhood and past relationships can have an effect on how people conduct their present relationships. Trauma can cause issues with trust, self-esteem, anxiety, depression, abandonment, and rejection all of which influence your actions.

Fear: fear of getting hurt can make you act in ways that risk your relationships. It can make it difficult to open up when relationships require openness and trust to survive. Fear of rejection and fear of intimacy are also common fears.

Self-esteem: a low opinion of yourself can make you feel undeserving of love and the relationship making you push your partner away. Poor self-esteem can also make it difficult overall to meet someone.

Ways people self-sabotage

Criticism: constantly criticizing your partner. If all you ever talk about it what the other is doing wrong, you may be self-sabotaging the relationship.

Blaming: constant blaming creates emotional distance with the person feeling inadequate.

Defensiveness: out of self-defence, you can be defensive when your partner raises an issue instead of being open to hearing them out and fixing it.

Ghosting: cutting off all communication and leaving the other party unclear about where things stand is an act of self-sabotage.

Infidelity: unfaithfulness is one of the most common ways people self-sabotage their relationships.

Co-dependency: this is an unhealthy relationship where you desperately need the other person, and they need to be needed is co-dependent. You each need to have your own separate lives and be individuals.

Mind games: using mind games to constantly test your partner is a recipe for disaster. For example,  things like trying to make your partner jealous.

Withdrawing: instead of addressing any problems that arise you pull away and distance yourself or ignore the problem or hide your emotions or ignore your partner altogether. You just give up on fixing things, for example, because of a tendency to be conflict-avoidant.

Comparing your relationship with others: no one likes being compared to other people. Comparing your partner or relationship to others can be beneficial in exposing things like key red flags and negative if you’re doing things like comparing your partner’s appearance to other people.

Still in touch with exes: staying involved with exes who you still hold a torch for especially if you’re doing so in secret, is classic self-sabotage.

Insecurity: anxiety, possessiveness, and jealousy fuelled by insecurity jeopardize a relationship, especially where there’s no reason to worry about infidelity.

Controlling: for a variety of reasons including fear, you may feel the need to be in control of the relationship to avoid being hurt or being the one who’s being controlled. No one likes to be controlled.

Unrealistic expectations: it’s reasonable to expect good things from your relationship and partner, however, it’s important to make sure you’re not setting unattainable standards secretly hoping they will fail thus proving you right in your scepticism of the relationship and your partner. This is closely linked to perfectionism.

Some examples of how people self-sabotage include

  • Not discussing your feelings
  • Poor communication about your needs
  • Saying yes when you want to say no
  • Not setting boundaries
  • Using criticism or contempt
  • Creating a lot of conflicts
  • Giving the silent treatment
  • Ghosting the other person
  • Lying or cheating
  • Talking negatively about yourself to your partner
  • Abusing substances
  • Withdrawing
  • Isolating yourself
  • Being controlling
  • Being extremely jealous
  • Looking for a flaw in your partner and focusing on it
  • Not being committed
  • Withholding sex and touch

 

Check out

Relationships: 7 Tips For Managing Relationship Conflicts

How To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Relationships: Ways That Silent Treatment Is Damaging

Retroactive Jealousy: Causes, Signs, And What A Partner Can Do About It

Simple Tips On What To Do If A Friend Or Colleague Shows Envy Towards You

The Singlehood Series: Sabotaged By The Friend Who Is Averse To Committed Relationships

Share3Tweet2SendShare1Pin2
Previous Post

Lifestyle: Benefits Of Eating With Your Hands

Next Post

Health: Common Myths About Blood Donation

Nereah Obimbo

Nereah Obimbo

Writer. Youtuber. Filmmaker. Abolitionist. Pessimism of the intellect, optimism of the will.

Next Post
Blood donation conceptual illustration. World blood donor day symbol.

Health: Common Myths About Blood Donation

Please login to join discussion

Recommended

The Singlehood Series: I Ghosted Him Then He Showed Up To My Workplace Randomly For A Month

The Singlehood Series: A Stranger She Met At A Party Ended Up Being Her Worst Nightmare

22 November 2023
141
Yummy, Easy To Make Bacon Recipes

Yummy, Easy To Make Bacon Recipes

19 November 2014
631

Popular Stories

  • Book Review: Things I Will Tell My Daughter By Joan Thatiah

    650 shares
    Share 260 Tweet 163
  • Relationships And A Tolerable Level Of Permanent Unhappiness

    1558 shares
    Share 622 Tweet 389
  • Jewellery: 5 Reasons Why The Hilton Arcade Curio Shops Are A Great Alternative To Maasai Market

    890 shares
    Share 356 Tweet 223
  • He Kept Her Waiting Around For A Marriage Proposal, But He Never Seemed To Be Ready To Settle Down 

    7 shares
    Share 2 Tweet 2
  • The Singlehood Series: He Gave Her Everything He Could But She Messed Up And Paid Dearly For It

    9 shares
    Share 3 Tweet 2

Potentash Blog

Potentash is an award-winning lifestyle blog. We publish lifestyle content that intersects with health, women, beauty, travel, business, relationships, finances and entertainment.

Explore

  • The Singlehood Series
  • From Stairs To Ramps
  • Man Around Nairobi
  • Pearls And Heels
  • Personal Finance
  • Food + Beverage
  • Editor’s Pick
  • Reviews

Get the Potentash Newsletter

  • Newsletter Archive
  • Subscribe
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us

Copyright © 2023. Potentash, In Partnership with Decima

Welcome Back!

Sign In with Linked In
OR

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
  • Login
No Result
View All Result
  • Relationships
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Dating
    • Sex
    • Parenting
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Food + Beverage
    • Fashion
    • Interviews
  • Stories
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Fiction
    • Poetry
  • Skin + Beauty
    • Skin
      • Skincare
    • Hair
      • Haircare
  • Wellness
    • Physical Health
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Mental Wellness
    • Social Wellness
    • Spiritual Wellness
  • Business
    • Business Finance
    • Personal Finance
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Investments
    • Personal Investments
  • Entertainment
    • Internet
    • Events
    • Music
    • Books

Copyright © 2023. Potentash, In Partnership with Decima