Guys often pull away at the beginning of a relationship, or at any point where a semblance of something serious becomes increasingly obvious, as a defense mechanism. To protect themselves, and to avoid leading you on, men take a step back, often to force themselves to evaluate the situation and to better prepare themselves to take it to the next level if they decide to. Read on to know more about why guys pull away and then come back.
Why Do Guys Pull Away?
There can be several reasons why a guy pulls away. It depends on the man, the relationship, and the circumstances at play, but there are themes. Here are some of the most common reasons why a guy may pull away from you.
He’s Dealing With Things Outside of the Relationship
A guy may have other problems that he has to deal with outside of the relationship that needs his immediate attention, causing him to pull away from you. Many guys can only process one thing at a time, so when something comes up, he may decide to focus all of his energy on it instead of you.
He Doesn’t Know What He Wants
A lot of men pull away because they haven’t come to terms with their own wants and needs. As a result, they may put some space between you and him to mull over the situation and get a better perspective.
He Has Concerns About the Connection
After some time, a guy may have some doubts about the relationship, which typically happens when you’re moving too fast or when certain expectations aren’t met. If you feel like the connection has died down and may be the reason for him pulling away, try to rekindle the fire. Remember that men appreciate affection as well, so make an effort in making him feel needed and desired, too.
You’re Doing Something That’s Throwing Him Off
Sometimes, men pull away because you’re doing something that’s turning them off. Check yourself—are you being too clingy, demanding, or negative? Are there certain behaviors or situations that caused him to pull away because of you?
He’s Dating Someone Else
It’s also possible that a guy pulls away simply because they’re still dating other people. This can happen when you don’t define what you want out of the relationship early on, so it’s best to have that discussion and lay out expectations in the get-go.
What to Do if a Guy Pulls Away
The best thing to do when a guy pulls away is to let him. It may be hard, especially when you’re craving attention and intimacy, as well. But you have to consider his feelings, as well. He may really need the space to think about things, and it won’t help if you’re there suffocating him. Just play it cool, spend some time with yourself, and let him know that you’ll still be there when he’s ready. Of course, this shouldn’t take forever. If he’s dragging it on for too long with no signs of coming back, then it may be best for you to reassess things, as well.
How to Know if a Guy Will Still Come Back
Men will often come back after pulling away. This is because they’ve had the time to better understand their situation and their feelings, and now they’re ready to pull down their defenses and take the next step. But how do you know that they’ll eventually come back and you’re not just there waiting like a fool? Here are some tell-tale signs:
- He didn’t cut ties with you
- He still regularly communicates with you
- He talks about you with other people (or asks about you)
- He’s not in a relationship nor is he actively looking to start one with anyone else
- His body language says so
Don’t Think of It as the End
It’s not odd for guys to pull away when a relationship starts getting serious. But that doesn’t mean that that’s the end of things. If he likes you and wants you, he will come back—even if it takes some time to get their hearts and heads straight. If everything’s going well and they suddenly pull away, give them the space they need and reassure them that you’re still there when they come back.