Growing up ‘skinny’ or ‘slim’ is not as rosy as it sounds. Like with everything else, people tend to have opinions on everything and try to impose them on skinny people. To most, you can’t just be skinny. There has to be a reason behind it. This is what forms the basis of skinny shaming. When people make conclusions on why a person is skinny and outrightly impose these negative opinions on them without thinking about the impact of doing so.
But how can skinny people be criticised when it seems like the ‘ideal’ body type? Well, let me paint you a picture. For most people who have grown up skinny, it is not uncommon to meet people who are ‘jealous’ of them. What this results in are colourful comments. People will tell you how much they hate you for being skinny or easily conclude that you refuse to eat because you are trying to maintain the ‘perfect body’. To them, this type of bullying expresses love. But what it does to the person receiving these comments is the opposite.
Here are 6 ways in which skinny shaming occurs.
1. Shaming their eating habits
You go to a family function and serve little food because you’re not that hungry and you don’t want to waste food. Your aunty, who is hosting the dinner, sees your plate and does not hesitate to comment. “Why are you eating so little? No wonder you’re so skinny.” Does this sound familiar? Well, skinny shaming happens by criticising the person’s eating habits. People often want to make you eat more, and they assume that you deliberately serve small portions because you want to maintain your weight.
2. Backhanded compliments
Sometimes skinny shaming does not happen by directly insulting the person. It can manifest itself through backhanded compliments, which, when you really think through it, are offensive. These sound a lot like, “She’s trying to be a model, that’s why she doesn’t eat,” or, “She doesn’t eat, that’s why she’s body goals.” Backhanded compliments do not make you feel good about yourself.
If you generally eat a lot of food and do not gain weight, people will say things like, “You’re lucky. If I ate as much as you do, I would be twice my size.” That is not a compliment. Everyone’s body works differently, and you should not shame someone for having a faster metabolism than you do.
3. Unsolicited advice
This one happens too frequently. You meet someone, and they immediately start advising you on what you should do to gain more weight. They will advise you to eat certain foods or to alter your lifestyle in a particular way. The problem with unsolicited advice is that it can communicate an air of superiority. It assumes the advice-giver knows what’s right or best. Unsolicited advice often feels critical rather than helpful.
4. Assuming they are sick
There are some illnesses that are associated with weight loss. That is not to say that every skinny person is suffering from the said illnesses. There have been instances where people assume that skinny people suffer from illnesses such as HIV/AIDS. First, this is the stigmatization of the illness which does greater harm than good (if any). Above that, it is skinny shaming. In a study in the South African Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 69% per cent of the participants associated a thin figure with a person infected with HIV, or who had AIDS. Only 10.2% thought the thin figure symbolised health.
People also tend to assume that being skinny is synonymous with being anorexic, an illness or emotional illness where a person has an overwhelming fear of becoming fat, and so refuses to eat enough and becomes thinner. Being skinny is not always due to an illness, and even if it is, that should never be your first assumption.
5. At the gym
Skinny people will tell you how difficult it is for them to go to the gym without being insulted. “What are you even doing here, trying to lose more weight?” This is not the compliment that people think it is. People go to the gym for various reasons. It’s not always about losing weight, and it’s not in anyone’s place to bring them down for it. You can’t build yourself up by tearing others down. The gym should be a safe space for everybody.
6. Insults
The African woman is usually depicted as a woman with curves. We literally describe women who are curvy as blessed. So, what happens when you are not ‘blessed enough?” What you receive are insults. People will put you down, telling you that you’re not a real woman, and that men prefer women that look like women. Who cares what men think? Sure, some women have hourglass curves. Some are apple- or pear-shaped. Some are flat. The thing is, they’re all “real women.”
Body Image: Fat Shaming vs Skinny Shaming
6 Subtle Ways In Which Fat Shaming Occurs
Mum Shaming: 7 Things You Shouldn’t Say To A Mother
6 Tips For Fighting Food Guilt
