“People be like, travel and enjoy in private. Me? I have suffered in public. I will post in public, picture after picture.”
If you do not relate with the quote above, then we are going to have to agree to disagree. Recently, Issa Rae, who is the main actress in Insecure revealed herself on social media in a beautiful wedding gown alongside her bridesmaids and her husband. This sparked a lot of conversation on the internet, as the “Move in silence” cohort came out to preach the importance of progressing quietly and not sharing your private life with people on the internet.
One of the comments that stood out to me was Monka who said that Issa Rae wasn’t actually moving in silence. It’s just that we are not her friends, and that’s okay. Her life was not centred on her romantic relationship, she had so many other things to do.
Issa Rae wasn’t moving in silence. You’re just not her friend and that’s okay.
— Monka (@MonyqueXO) July 27, 2021
The move in silence pastors are always so quick to preach about the importance of silence, and they go-ahead to put down those who do the opposite. The irony of these ‘pastors’ is that they preach the need to move in silence loudly. To quote another hilarious tweet by Mwende Ngao, they will say, “Please look at me, I’m moving in silence. Guys hi, excuse me, I’m moving in silence. You guys aren’t moving in silence like me who is moving in silence.” Moving in silence people are so loud.”
“Please look at me I’m moving in silence. Guys hi excuse me, I’m moving in silence. You guys aren’t moving in silence like me who is moving in silence.” Moving in silence people are so loud though ???
— Mwende Ngao (@mwendesusu) July 27, 2021
I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with choosing not to display your private life online. Not at all. But all I’m saying is, there is nothing wrong with those who choose to do it. If there’s one thing we need to learn, it’s to allow people to express themselves in the way that they want to, as long as it’s not doing any harm to anyone.
Life is all about choices. Those who choose to exist loudly know the consequences of their actions, and so do those who choose to move in silence. We’re so pressed about how other people choose to live their lives that we fail to realize that it is none of our business. None at all. Why not focus this energy on building ourselves and navigating our lives in the direction we want them to be?
If you see someone’s post on the internet and the first thing that comes to your mind is that they are bragging, then maybe you are the problem. Maybe they’re not bragging, maybe it’s that you’re looking at the situation from a jealous point of view. If you feel the need to keep telling people to move in silence, then you are the problem. Nobody has stopped you from moving in silence. Do it, but let everyone else live as they please.
There is nothing glorious about moving in silence. If you go on holiday and choose to show us everything, show us. Your target audience will appreciate it. If you want to show your relationship with your significant other every day, do it! Express yourself in the way that makes you feel empowered, as long as you are not hurting anybody.
There is no concrete right or wrong way to go about how you handle your accomplishments or moves, and everyone’s situation is different. Celebrating your successes publicly can actually be a good thing. Studies have found that people who share their weight loss journey online lose significantly more weight than those who kept their journey to themselves.
In a study published in the Journal of the Royal Society Interface, researchers looked at people who belonged to an online weight loss community for six months. They found that those who regularly logged in and shared the number on their scale shed more pounds —8.3% of their body weight, on average—compared to those who didn’t network on the site, and lost only 4.1% of their body weight.
Let’s end this with a quote from Sauti Sol’s intro song in the album Midnight Train. Do what makes you happy, do what makes you smile. Everybody’s judging anyway, we’re only here for a while. Raha usijinyime, drink the very best wine. Everybody’s watching anyway, you’re only here for a while.
