Parenthood is great but it will probably consume a lot of time which you previously spent with your partner. You might end up compromising on the quality time that you initially spent with your partner, and this is unhealthy for your relationship. To keep the spark of your commitment towards each other, you will now have to be more intentional with a few more things. You cannot assume that things are the same as they were before because now there’s a whole human being to be taken care of and brought up. You and your partner are responsible for the upbringing of this child.
Here are a few ways of maintaining a good relationship with your partner once you become parents.
- Have a date night
The two of you should still go on dates, at least once a week. When the child is still an infant this may not be possible, but once the child is a little grown, you need to take time for just the two of you. The fact that you now have a child should not come in the way of your love. You can find a trusted family member to babysit for the few hours that you will be away. To make it more intimate you can even choose to have the date at home. A home-cooked meal or ordered out as the two of you watch a movie or something. This will help to relight the spark that was there when the two of you first met.
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- Communicate effectively
Talking to your partner is very important. Air out your grievances and ask for help where it is needed. This is necessary because it helps you to reconnect with one another as well as feeling close and checking in on one another. You can’t give full attention to the newborn baby and ignore your partner because this may cause problems in the relationship. When it comes to discussing the problems that you are having if you don’t communicate and you bottle things up when you do eventually speak it might lead to a huge fight or conflict. This is why you might want to bring things up as soon as they happen.
After having a baby, intimacy might be an issue. One because of time and two because as a woman, your body is still healing from the process of birth. This is understandable. However, intimacy between you and your partner’s sex is very important. You might find it hard to have sex, but this isn’t the only form of intimacy. Sometimes, it can just mean being tactile and close with one another, without necessarily having expectations to go any further.
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- Buy each other gifts
Gifts are a whole love language. They are a way of appreciating your partner. I would suggest that you buy your partner gifts regularly. You should make it a surprise to make it more enticing. The best gifts are actually those that you’ve heard your partner subtly speaking about. It shows that you listen and that you have concern for your partner’s needs. Buy your partner meaningful gifts and you will be sure to maintain a healthy relationship with them.
- Divide the labour fairly
One of the major reasons for conflict once a baby is born is that the responsibility is not equally divided among the partners. When one person becomes overwhelmed, it may interfere with the relationship that you and your partner have. This is why you need to set roles for each of you to work on. The roles should be fair and divided equally. This is why some organizations now have paternity leave, to allow for the father to bond with the child but also be able to help out where needed.
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