fbpx
Potentash
  • Relationships
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Dating
    • Sex
    • Parenting
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Food + Beverage
    • Fashion
    • Interviews
  • Fiction
    • Poetry
  • Skin + Beauty
    • Skin
      • Skincare
    • Hair
      • Haircare
  • Wellness
    • Physical Health
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Mental Wellness
    • Social Wellness
    • Spiritual Wellness
  • Business
    • Business Finance
    • Personal Finance
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Investments
    • Personal Investments
  • Entertainment
    • Internet
    • Events
    • Music
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
Potentash
  • Relationships
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Dating
    • Sex
    • Parenting
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Food + Beverage
    • Fashion
    • Interviews
  • Fiction
    • Poetry
  • Skin + Beauty
    • Skin
      • Skincare
    • Hair
      • Haircare
  • Wellness
    • Physical Health
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Mental Wellness
    • Social Wellness
    • Spiritual Wellness
  • Business
    • Business Finance
    • Personal Finance
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Investments
    • Personal Investments
  • Entertainment
    • Internet
    • Events
    • Music
    • Books
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
Potentash
No Result
View All Result
Image from  https://buff.ly/2GdHekB

Image from https://buff.ly/2GdHekB

From Stairs To Ramps: Facing Misconceptions About Disability And Intimacy

Brian Muchiri by Brian Muchiri
July 15, 2019
in Dating, Lifestyle, Relationships, Sex, Wellness
Reading Time: 4 mins read
53 1
0
65
SHARES
359
VIEWS
FacebookTwitterWhatsApp

Before I embarked on writing this series about my journey from the time I had the accident that left me paralysed, I was first introduced to some writers who were writing stories that were similar to what I wanted to write. The story that stood out the most to me was one about a disabled man and his struggle to find love. It was well written and felt very honest, I gravitated to it, his fears were my fears, his reservations were mine too. Stories like these, are unfortunately synonymous to people with disability. Most of us rarely get to a point in our lives where we feel accepted and wanted. You can find the story here Getting A Date While Having A Disability Has Not Been Easy: I Hope One Day I Will Find True Love

In the story, the writer recounted the events that led to him being rejected by a woman he had met online. Though rejection is a common thing that all people should learn to expect and accept, it is still a bitter pill to swallow. “Can you still have sex?”, the lady had bluntly asked the gentleman just moments after they’d exchanged pleasantries at their first and last date.

Because sex is such an interesting topic, let’s talk about it and how it affects people with disability. Specifically, those with spinal cord injury.

 

Image from https://buff.ly/2GdHekB

The need for physical connection is a primal instinct for most people. Sex and intimacy are all integral parts of human existence. A spine injury can limit the ability of one to fully engage in sex since sensory neurons and muscle control are all affected. Depending on the severity of the injury, sexual functions might differ from one person to the other. Men with lower injuries can sometimes achieve erections and ejaculation while women still experience vaginal lubrication.  The ones with relatively higher injuries hardly even view their private parts as sexual organs.

A spine injury is a huge blow to a person’s sexuality. Speaking from a young man’s perspective, you not only lose your ability to achieve an erection, but you also lose something even more important; self-worth. The psychological trauma suffered by individuals with these kinds of conditions especially in the early stages can be quite challenging.

I got the accident as I was approaching my prime as a young male. Losing my identity as a functional sexual being was detrimental to my self-image. Knowing that that part of me had been taken away forever, affected the way I related to the opposite sex. I became anti-social and withdrawn, I was so wounded that I could hardly recognise myself. I would stay up at night self-inflicting pain and stress because it felt better than confronting the truth that was facing me right in the eye. I genuinely could not fathom how anyone could find me even the least bit attractive.

Over time I grew to understand my new self and appreciate the more important things. I had to tap out of the sex game and learn about intimacy. The good news is, people with spinal related complications can still have a healthy relationship, complete with that physical connection we crave for.

Communication with your partner is very important before getting down to business. I try to be as candid as I can about my condition, sexuality and my insecurities. I talk about what works for me and what doesn’t. This creates a safe space for my partner to ask any question or raise any concern that she might have. This in itself sharpens the bond between us and we feel closer to one another as each gets vulnerable. Real intimacy is driven by my raw emotion. Therefore, working towards connecting on a deeper level is key before anything else. Here are some Misconceptions About Sex And Relationships With A Disability

Here is the next part of my story – From Stairs To Ramps: Backhanded Compliments And Being A Cautionary Tale For The Village Kids. For those of you who may not have followed my story, you might not know that I have a girlfriend. Check out our story here – Finding Love And Men Who Tell My Girlfriend She Should Get A Real Man

 

Share26Tweet16SendShare5Pin6
Previous Post

Business: Tips To Develop A Strong Online Brand 

Next Post

Beauty: Why You Need Vitamin E In Your Skincare Routine

Brian Muchiri

Brian Muchiri

Brian Muchiri is a creative mind, passionate about meaningful storytelling that not only entertains but also positively impacts the reader. His style of writing is lighthearted and provocative, leaving his audience with deep introspection. Brian is also a disability advocate and champion for articulating issues faced in the disability community. He enjoys listening to music, watching documentaries and attending concerts.

Next Post
Woman applying moisturizer image fromhttps://www.chatelaine.com/style/beauty/how-many-skincare-products/

Beauty: Why You Need Vitamin E In Your Skincare Routine

Please login to join discussion

Recommended

Money. Photographer: Trevor Snapp/Bloomberg

Finances: Money Saving Tips To Survive A Loss Or Reduction Of Income

May 20, 2020
366
image from http://pridenews.ca/2015/04/01/loving-an-angry-black-woman/

She Kept Asking Him To Introduce Her To His Mother And When He Did She Was Shocked At Who It Was!

March 2, 2020
7.9k

Popular Stories

  • Pregnant black woman holding her belly

    The Singlehood Series: On The Day I Gave Birth My Husband Started Acting Funny After Going Through My Messages. I Was Not Ready For The Heartbreak That Followed

    492 shares
    Share 197 Tweet 123
  • My Fiancé Cheated On Me And I Helped To Take Care Of Their Child

    285 shares
    Share 114 Tweet 71
  • The Positive And Negative Effects Of Fame And Being A Celebrity

    1192 shares
    Share 477 Tweet 298
  • Best Hairstyles For A Round Face Shape

    8131 shares
    Share 3252 Tweet 2032
  • 7 Tips For A Successful Visa Interview

    57 shares
    Share 23 Tweet 14

Potentash Blog

Potentash

Potentash is an award-winning lifestyle blog. We publish lifestyle content that intersects with health, women, beauty, travel, business, relationships, finances and entertainment.

Explore

  • The Singlehood Series
  • From Stairs To Ramps
  • Man Around Nairobi
  • Pearls And Heels
  • Personal Finance
  • Food + Beverage
  • Editor’s Pick
  • Reviews

Get the Potentash Newsletter

  • Newsletter Archive
  • Subscribe
  • Frequently Asked Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact Us

Copyright © 2023. Potentash, In Partnership with Decima

  • Login
No Result
View All Result
  • Relationships
    • The Singlehood Series
    • Dating
    • Sex
    • Parenting
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Food + Beverage
    • Fashion
    • Interviews
  • Fiction
    • Poetry
  • Skin + Beauty
    • Skin
      • Skincare
    • Hair
      • Haircare
  • Wellness
    • Physical Health
    • Emotional Wellness
    • Mental Wellness
    • Social Wellness
    • Spiritual Wellness
  • Business
    • Business Finance
    • Personal Finance
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Investments
    • Personal Investments
  • Entertainment
    • Internet
    • Events
    • Music
    • Books

Copyright © 2023. Potentash, In Partnership with Decima

Welcome Back!

Sign In with Linked In
OR

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In