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Relationships: when and how to introduce a date to your kids

Rayhab Gachango by Rayhab Gachango
May 5, 2016
in Children, Dating, Family, Kenya, Marriage, Relationships
Reading Time: 3 mins read
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Divorce is a painful experience and the ones who suffer from it in the first place are your children. UA Brides Dating Site has these helpful dating tips for you on dating when you have children. Your children will have adjusted to the idea of living with one parent. When they get used to a certain routine with their single parent, they don’t want anybody to interfere with the new relationship. Children are generally jealous because they are deeply attached to their full-time parents. Depending on child’s age and the quality of the relationship between them and the other parent, they may view you as a traitor and your new partner as a competitor. You should take it into account and make your dating as harmless to your child as possible.

Psychologists advise that you should not introduce all the people you date to your child. It’s your private life as a woman or man and for your child you are a parent, not a woman or man. Your kids need your undivided attention and you should give it to them. However, you should never give up on yourself and sacrifice your personal life. You deserve to be loved and you can successfully combine the roles of a parent and a partner. Still, being a parent is all about responsibility and prioritizing your child’s interests.

So, you got back to the dating scene after a divorce. The only difference is that you’re back as a parent. If you start going out, you need to explain to your kid that you need to see your friends. It’s not necessary for your children to know that you go on dates. Also, you shouldn’t invite your dates to your place when children are around. Older children, especially teenagers, may feel embarrassed by the presence of a new man or woman. Sleep-overs are absolutely forbidden because it’s very stressful and hurting for a kid to find a stranger in their house in the morning. Moreover, when they grow up, they might follow your example. Remember that they need to feel that they play the leading role in your life and they are the only people whom you love. That is why you should not involve your kids in your dating life until you find somebody reliable, the one who deserves to become the part of your life.

If your dating gradually turns into a serious relationship and you want to step out of the shade and date openly and even introduce your date to your kids, you should notify your ex (if he or she is involved in your kids’ life) about your intentions. The other parent should be aware of the fact that your children will be introduced to your new partner. Your ex may not be amused by seeing somebody with you at a family party and you don’t know how he or she might react. That is why it’s better to let him or her know about it in advance before they realize it themselves or your kids tell them that mom or dad has somebody.

Going on a date to introduce your child. Image from http://www.mynameisjacy.com/2012_03_01_archive.html

How to prepare your children for the meeting

• Choose the proper venue.

When your kids meet your boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time, you need to think where your meeting is going to take place. Many single parents who have experienced this situation unanimously agree that it should be a place other than home. At the same time, it should be the spot where all of you can have fun and feel at ease. A themed museum or amusement park can be a good option. Meeting kids is not about serious talks; it’s about making a connection and spending time together.

• Set the mood.

You shouldn’t tell your offspring that they are going to meet your boyfriend or girlfriend. All they need to know is that they are going to the amusement park, or wherever you decided to take them, to have a great time with your special friend.

A scene from Sleepless in Seattle – remember to have fun when dating when kids are involved. Image from

• Reassure your child.

Let your children know that they are the most important people in your life. If they fear that you’ll spend less time with them because you have a girlfriend or boyfriend now, reassure them that they are and always will be number one to you.

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Rayhab Gachango

Rayhab Gachango

Potentash Founder. A creative writer. The Managing Editor at Potentash. Passionate about telling African stories and stories about the inclusion of minorities. Find me at hi@potentash.com. “We're all stories, in the end.” ― Steven Moffat

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