While in a relationship it is very easy to lose yourself in your bae’s life. Usually one of you will have a stronger personality and possibly a more fun one. What happens thereafter is that one decided to adapt too much, before you know it you overlook yourself and forget what you were really all about. This may leave your spouse feeling suffocated when you always want to be with them and don’t give them their own space. This can lead to conflict in your relationship.
The issue of ignoring your own needs, hobbies and the life you had before you got into a relationship may leave you depleted and you may end up counting the cost of doing so. Your friends may complain and your partner may be indirectly trying to tell you something indirectly while you miss the signs. If you feel you’ve lost yourself in your relationship the following items will help you.
1. Do not let yourself go: In the beginning of a relationship there are things you used to do that were attractive then now you’ve either stopped or reduced. For a lady you probably painted your nails or bought new lingerie every once in a while to surprise your man and now you’re either not doing any of that or the nail polish is chipped. As for men your beer belly is back, no clean shaves anymore and many other naturally turn off. Both of you are so used to each other that there is no effort used. Though you are not meant to only take care of yourself for your other half, do things for yourself. Hit the gym, dress well, smell good and as an advantage when your other half looks at you they are happy as well.
2. Have your own life: Do not hijack your bae’s life, though you may have similar friends I am sure there are friends you found each other with. In any relationship having your own life means that people respect you more. You need to hold on to what the other person found you doing.
If you used to like nature trails, reading amongst other things do not let go of the things you enjoyed. Of course there is no problem if you both enjoy the same things and do these things together though I can guarantee you one of you will start feeling like it’s too much and will need space. Do not overdo it, maintain your hobbies and do not forget your friends and family.
3. Avoid being too needy: Love yourself more than you love your other half and have your own life so that you do not expect your partner to complete you. If you do not love yourself enough your partner cannot compensate for that. When you are your own person who can survive as an individual you will bring more into a relationship. It is also more attractive because you are not needy, needing your partner to always validate you. You should be able to live without your other half regardless of how much you love them
4. Follow your dreams: We sometimes change our goals or give up our dreams for the sake of the person we love. Though either you or your other half is busy following their dreams and accomplishing. Before you got into a relationship you had your own ambitions which you should pursue. In a relationship as long as both of you are committed and have a mutual understanding pursuing your own dreams is very important. Do not sacrifice your dreams without a good reason.
When you have your own life and don’t depend on your partner you will be able to build a successful relationship that will last longer. Remember if your relationship does not work out your best support system is yourself, your friends and family. Don’t drop them just because you are in a relationship.
Vanessa Raychael is a young writer passionate about writing. She is a student at Daystar University. She has written for the People newspaper as a fiction writer and she also hosts a show in a gospel station known as Vision TV. During her spare time, she likes nature trails, spending time with friends and going for events. You can check out her work on her blog nochills.blogspot.com