Daisy concentrated, tried to concentrate. It felt like trying to decode a whisper while standing next to a waterfall. She rubbed the rough amethyst crystal that fit perfectly in the palm of her hand. All she knew was her dog was sick, the big sick, and it was going to cost more than she had to treat her. She took a deep breath, focusing on the doctor’s beautifully lined lips.
“We need to set up the surgery as soon as possible. We’re managing the pain, but surgery would be ideal.”
Daisy nodded. Her heart was thudding so loudly in her chest, she felt the blood rushing in her ears.
The vet smiled. “This is a routine procedure, I know it doesn’t feel like that when it’s your dog but it’s safe and River is going to be fine.”
“Do you offer any kind of payment plan?”
The vet shook her head, her smile dropping. “Unfortunately, no, not at the moment.”
Daisy rubbed the crystal. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”
She trudged out of the waiting room, all the way down to the tiny garden the building had. She sighed with relief when she found the single bench there vacant. She arranged her long skirt around her as she sat on the bench, plopped her earphones in and pressed play on the river playlist. As soon as it started, she closed her eyes and started her deep breathing exercises. Her breathing slowed, tears tickled the sides of her eyes, and her grip on the crystal loosened. She’d fought it all week, but she knew what she had to do. She had one option. Just the one, and it was the last thing she wanted to do.
Daisy opened her eyes, blinking against the brightness after her minutes in the dark. With shaking fingers, she scrolled to his name, hovered for a second, then dialled. It would be difficult no matter when she did it, it was better to get it over with and know what was up one way or another.
Eric’s mouth dropped open. He swiped to answer before anxiety got the better of him. “Hey, Daisy.” He cleared his throat, embarrassed by his naked longing.
He sounded wonderful. Perfect. Oh, she’d missed him. “Hey, um. How are you?”
It was her. It was really her. His heart slammed against his rib cage. no time to give in to longing. Something was wrong, very wrong if she was calling him. “I’m okay. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m fine. I just wanted to ask you something… Is this a good time?”
“Yeah. What’s going on?” He bit his lip. He wanted to scream, tell me what’s wrong. Just spit it out, right now.
Daisy took a deep breath. “This may sound really dumb, but my dog is sick, and she needs surgery, and I… can you lend me some cash, I’ll pay you back?”
Relief flooded his ribcage. “Yeah. No problem. How much?”
She whispered the number.
He couldn’t help the gasp that flew out of his open mouth. “I’m sorry. I-”
She laughed, and it sounded nothing like he remembered. “It’s okay. That’s the expected, maybe even correct reaction.”
“When do you need it?”
“Today or tomorrow.” Her voice cracked so painfully, Eric rubbed his chest in sympathy. “I know it’s short notice…”
“Where are you?”
“The vet’s somewhere in Upper Hill.”
“Is anyone with you?”
“No. It’s just me.”
“Let me come to you so we can iron everything out with the vet. Can I come now?”
Daisy nodded. “Yeah, I’ll text you the address.”
“That’s not far from me, I’ll be there shortly.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it. See you.”
She dropped the phone in her sling bag and started rubbing the amethyst crystal.
She plopped her earphones back on, trying to ground herself in preparation for meeting him. If her reaction to hearing his voice was anything to go by, she needed to brace herself for seeing him.
Her phone rang, interrupting her soothing river sounds. She answered. “Hey, you here?”
“Yes, where are you?”
“Meet me at the vet’s. It’s on the 12th floor. I’ll be at the lifts.”
“Okay.”
************************
Daisy rushed to the lift, her skirt flying behind her in the wind. Her feet slowed when she saw him standing by the lifts, waiting for one. A few people turned to stare at her. He turned following their lead, biting his lip when he saw her.
Eric smiled and waved once, like he needed something to do with his limbs.
She took a deep breath and walked to him.
Eric smiled when he saw the people staring and trying to look like they weren’t. It came with the territory, given how she looked. She was curvy everywhere, her skin was an arresting dark hue, and her dreadlocks heavy with colourful beads and charms grazed the top of her ass. She was breathtaking.
He couldn’t help it; he opened his arms when she got close, relief coursing through him when she hugged him just as tightly as he hugged her.
He pulled back. “Hey.”
“Hey.” She looked away. “You got here pretty fast.”
“I work nearby.”
“Oh,” she squinted at him. “You guys moved?”
“I moved.”
Her eyes popped open. “Moved firms?”
His previous firm, A & R, had been his dream, his goal, the one thing he wanted. He understood the reaction.
They walked into the lift, standing close as other people piled in. His heart raced when his hand grazed hers. Her skin was so soft, a pang of longing lanced through him. People started trickling out, and he stepped to the side, giving them space. Finally, it was their turn to step out.
She hesitated as they stepped out, her breath hitching noticeably. He looked down at her hand, wanting to hold it, comfort her. She was rubbing an amethyst crystal. Protection and healing.
He followed her to an unoccupied corner of the waiting room. It looked just like a hospital waiting room, only smaller. There were three other people there.
“Um, so I should tell you what’s going on.” Daisy slouched forward, not meeting his eyes, her eyes on the rough crystal. “My dog, River, she’s sick. She has cancer and it’s in her leg, front leg. They need to…” She swallowed roughly.
He rubbed her back. “Amputate?” He offered.
She nodded. “Yeah.” It was a whisper.
“I can’t ask my family because of…”
“Aunty Sylvie, I get it.”
Her head whipped, her eyes nailing him. “How do you know about Aunty Sylvie?”
Eric pulled his hand away from her and started rubbing his beard. “Davis and Danna told me.”
Of course, her brother and sister were behind this.
He rushed to add. “It was when they were raising money for her trip to India.”
Daisy nodded, resuming her previous position.
Of course, her siblings were still talking to him. They’d been together for four years. Four years during which he had been wholly absorbed into and accepted by her huge family. He’d grown up as a single child of two university professors. She’d grown up as one of three children, but their house always had a minimum of seven, eight people at any point in time. Their extended family was close, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents always visiting each other. He’d taken to it like a duck to water, getting so close to them, people still asked after him at family gatherings. That was fun for her.
“I can’t exactly bring up my dog’s surgery on the family WhatsApp chat while my aunt’s battling cancer in India.”
“I get it. What happens now?”
“The surgery happens as soon as I can pay for it. Then River, that’s my dog, she stays for a few days, then I can take her home, and in about two months she should be good as new.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
She turned to him. He watched as tears pooled in her eyes. He rubbed her back again at a loss for comforting words.
“Just like that?” she asked, fighting the tears back until he was certain there would be no crying.
Eric nodded. “If that’s what the doctors are saying.”
“I mean, you’re just giving me the money like that, no questions, payment plans, etc.?”
“Come on. No matter what happened with us, I trust you. You say you’ll do something that’s enough for me.”
Daisy held his gaze. “Thank you.”
Eric laughed. “Can you stop with that already? I haven’t even done anything yet.”
“You came, that’s plenty.”
“Come on, it’s you.” He shrugged like that was explanation enough. “Do you want to maybe go speak to the doctor and set it up?”
She nodded, then got up and went to speak to the receptionist.
*********************************
The next hour was a blur. The vet sat them down and explained the procedure and what to expect after. Daisy was just glad she also gave her paperwork, at least she could go read. She was afraid she would remember nothing. Eric was in his lawyer element, taking notes, asking follow-up questions, and signing documents.
The surgery was set for the following day. Eric watched as Daisy listened to the vet. She looked so unnaturally muted. She was in a brown flowing skirt and a black crop top. Her waist was adorned with two earth-toned African waist beads. She never took those off. Usually, she had at least five different ones contrasting beautifully. She didn’t have a single ring on which was so off, it renewed the worry that had begun to peter off. She never left the house without at least three rings on each hand. All she had on her wrist was a beaded Kenyan flag bracelet. That was the one she never removed. She also had no earrings on. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her this naked outside. She must have left in a hurry. Panicked.
The vet got up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thank you,” they chorused.
He smiled at her.
“Are you leaving now?”
She shook her head. “I’m going to go see River one last time… before tomorrow.”
“Can I come with you?”
She nodded. “Yeah, of course. If you’re paying for it, you should see her.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I meant in terms of being there for you. I know this is hard.”
She swallowed. “Oh… yeah. Definitely.”
******************************************
A nurse called to her, and they both went. They followed her into the room where her dog lay asleep in a big crate with a comfy-looking mattress. The nurse unlocked it. Eric watched as Daisy stroked the brown mutt. Her eyes soft, her touch gentle, her love obvious.
They’d not had a pet when they lived together, and the first time that almost changed, they’d broken up. He’d walked into the house late. He was always late in those days. She was asleep, so he relied on the moonlight and streetlights, not switching on the lights. She was a light sleeper. All he remembered was something walking over his naked toes. Sure, it was a rat he’d screamed bloody murder. She’d woken up, knocking over her bedside lamp and breaking it. It was a rare lamp she’d bought at a garage sale for expats leaving the country. He’d switched on the lights and seen the kitten scurrying under their bed. He turned his anger on her, asking what the hell. She’d turned her anger about the lamp on him. Then it had devolved into the fight they were stuck in. She’d sent him a text earlier telling him about temporarily housing the rescued kitten, but as usual, all he cared about was work and had not looked at her messages. He was always working and had no time for her. He didn’t care about her.
He was dragged back into the present when Daisy stood up.
He looked up to find the nurse locking the crate. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t worry, River will be okay. No more pain.”
Daisy nodded. “Thank you.”
They walked out in silence, rode the lift in silence.
She turned to him as they headed for the parking lot. “Thanks. I’ll keep you posted.”
“Do you have a ride?”
“Yeah, I called an Uber, it’s over there.” She waved at the car, and the driver started heading for them.
He nodded. “Okay.”
He watched her slide into the car, watched it drive off before walking to his car.
**********************
Eric walked into the office, his mind made up. All around him was this electric hive activity. Their firm was involved in one of the biggest public interest litigation cases in Kenya. He was supposed to be second chair. He knocked and walked into his best friend’s office. Larry was supposed to be the third chair.
Larry was standing over the desk looking at at least 3 different open files.
He rubbed his bald head, looking impeccable in his tailored navy suit. “Where’d you disappear to?”
“Family emergency.”
“What family? I’m your family.” He laughed.
Eric scoffed. “Your prayers are coming true, you’ve been bumped up to second chair.”
Larry turned to him, straightening up and looking like a model. “What?”
“I have a thing tomorrow and I can’t get out of it. I know you’re ready to second chair, so you’re it.”
Larry narrowed his eyes, walking up to him. “That’s not the point. What’s going on with you? We’ve been prepping for this for months. I know you were stoked about being second chair.”
“Something important’s come up and you’re going to be okay without me, so… I’m handling that.”
“That’s not the point. We’re supposed to be in this together. Stop with all this avoidance. What’s going on?”
Eric collapsed onto one of the seats in front of Larry’s massive mahogany table. “You won’t get it.”
Larry took the seat next to him. “Tell me anyway.”
Eric met his eyes. “Daisy’s dog is sick and she’s having surgery tomorrow, so I’m going to sit with her.” He said in a rush, the words bleeding onto each other.
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
Larry sighed. “You’re really serious.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it? No, making fun of me?”
“No. If you’re doing this, it’s because it’s what you feel you need to do.” He shrugged. “In any case, I get to be second chair.”
Eric laughed, “There it is.”
“This is a big sacrifice. You’ve wanted in on something like this forever.”
“And I am a part of it, I just won’t be the face of it. I’m okay with that.”
“Okay, let’s get some work done,” Larry said, moving back to the desk with open files.
Eric followed after him. “What’s eating your head? Maybe I can help.”
*************************
Daisy looked a little more like herself. She had on a flowy yellow dress with a scandalously low neckline. Her neck was adorned with layers of multicoloured beads that made the outfit far from scandalous. Both of her wrists were stacked with different-sized and colored beaded bangles. Somehow, she made it work without it looking like it was too much. Brass loops hung from her ears, and her fingers were tastefully loaded with different-sized rings. She fidgeted with the amethyst as they waited.
“Tell me something, anything. Distract me, please. Why… Why’d you leave A&R?”
I missed you. I miss you. Instead, he said. “I got sick of corporate law. I wanted to do something that felt meaningful. So, when I saw the advert for Sheria Place, I applied and got it.”
“How is that?”
“It’s great. Better than I expected. It’s a lot of work, but it makes a positive difference. I like that. How about you?”
“Same old. Same old. Designing. Being a dog mom. Family.”
He felt an ache in his chest. He missed being a part of her family.
They stood up when the vet stepped into the room. She smiled. “It went well. River’s asleep. The anaesthesia will wear off in about two hours. You’ll be able to see her before you go home.”
“Thank you so much.”
“I’ll send a nurse to bring you in to see River.”
“Thank you,” Daisy said, her voice hoarse with unshed tears.
The vet nodded and left. Daisy sagged into her seat, exhausted with relief. She smiled up at him, wiping away an errant tear. “Thank you.”
Eric sat next to her. “Come on, enough of that.”
The nurse came in to get her, and she couldn’t move fast enough. She was at the door before she turned to him. “Do you want to…?”
He smiled with a shake of his head. “I’ll be here. Take your time.”
She nodded and was gone with a wave. He sat there for over an hour. When she appeared with a smile on her face and the weight of the world off her shoulders, it was all worth it.
He stood up. “How is she?”
“Perfect.”
Then she hugged him, holding him tight. “Thanks, Eric. Thank you so much.”
He nodded, his arms going around her. “You’re welcome, Daisy.”
She pulled away with a heavy sigh. “I just want to go home and sleep.”
“Give me the directions and I’ll drop you off.”
“Nah, go back to your life. I’ve monopolised too much of it as things stand. Out of nowhere, to boot, who does that?”
“It’s not a problem, I promise. If that’s the only objection, don’t sweat it.”
She nodded. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll be paying forever.” She turned, heading for the door.
He grabbed her hand lightly. “Hey, you don’t owe me anything… apart from the vet bill, the rest of it, we were friends once… please don’t feel obligated or anything like that.”
“Yeah, we were.” She winked and started for the door again.
She fought the impulse to tap her fingers as they sat in traffic. She didn’t do well in closed spaces or in situations where she had to sit still. School had been a pain in the ass. He turned the radio on, giving her a brief respite from her numerous colliding thoughts. She sang along in her mind, humming when she didn’t know the lyrics, anything to keep her mind from replaying the three years they’d been together.
The news came on. Perfect. Something to annoy her even more than her thoughts. Was that his name? Did the news anchor just list him as one of the lawyers linked to a historic case on public participation?
Daisy turned to him. The way he was biting his lower lip and concentrating on moving the inch that had opened up confirmed it all.
“Please tell me you didn’t miss that to just sit in a waiting room.”
He smiled at her. “It wasn’t just sitting in a waiting room. It was sitting with you.”
She wasn’t amused. “What the hell, Eric? Why would you throw away an opportunity like this? Is this some kind of statement? Cause I don’t need whatever this is.”
“You don’t need what?”
“We’re not together. I haven’t seen you in two years, why would you… This is not like you.”
“You haven’t seen me in two years, maybe you don’t know what I’m like.”
“People don’t change that much. You’re ambitious, focused on your career, on being the best. That’s what you care about.”
“It’s not all I care about.” He took a deep breath. “I care about you.”
He held her gaze, hoping his eyes showed how much he meant it. She held his gaze for a second, then turned to stare out the window.
“I failed at showing you last time that being the best at work isn’t all I care about. I cared about you, I still do.”
Traffic opened up, and they crawled along for a minute. “I know this isn’t the time for this, you’re dealing with a lot, your aunt, your dog. If you’re not seeing anyone and you still like me even a little bit,” he chuckled. “Maybe you could consider giving me another shot. Think about it, not now though because… But later?”
He kept stealing glances at her. Finally, she turned to him. As he watched, her face crumbled, and then she burst into tears.
“Woah, woah, I am so sorry,” he looked from her to the road as they kept crawling along. “Daisy… I am so…”
“It’s not you,” she explained through the sobs, pointing at a dog in the backseat of a car next to them.
“Oh.”
“She could have…” Her shoulders shook with the silent sobs. “I can’t believe she could have…”
The cars came to a stop. He’d never been so happy to be in traffic. He reached for her hands. “She’s okay. River’s okay.”
He rubbed her back until the sobs stopped.
The honking horn behind him was the reminder he needed that they were on the road. He moved an inch, then turned to her, wiping a tear away with his thumb. “It’s okay. She’s okay.”
“I know.” She laughed. “Happy tears. Relieved tears.”
“Good,” he took her hand in his, squeezing lightly.
About ten minutes later, he pulled up to her house.
“Thanks,” she said. “I’d invite you in, but it’s a mess, and all I want to do is collapse in bed.”
“I get it,” he assured her, biting back the maybe next time that was on the tip of his tongue.
He stepped out of the car when she did. Her bangles jingled, and he felt bereft at the thought that that may be the last time he heard the delicate melody.
They stood awkwardly for a moment before she stepped in and hugged him.
“Ask me again when I’m not operating on zero sleep and look less like a member of the raccoon family.” She whispered so close to his ear, the combination of heat and waves making him shiver visibly.
He moved his hands to cup her waist. “Maybe I don’t mind.”
“Maybe I do,” she winked, pulling away from him. “I want to get it right this time.”
“I’m going to have to kiss you if you keep looking at me like that,” he warned, a glint in his eyes.
She smiled, got on her tip toes and kissed him lightly. He tightened his hold on her waist, holding her up and deepened the kiss before lowering her.
He looked into her eyes, his voice soft. “I want to get it right this time, too.”
She nodded, her heart racing so fast she had no words.
He caressed her cheek. “Go sleep, I’ll call you.” He kissed her cheek. “Bye.”
“Bye.” She said.
He turned her towards the house, giving her a small push.
She burst out laughing, turning to him. “Wow, you really want me gone.”
He took her hand in his, loving the jingling. “I want time to stop so we’re always here, and I want it to rush so we can get to the starting over part. So, you have to sleep so I can call you so we can start again.”
She nodded, blew him a kiss, then disappeared through the black gates.
His heart thudded in his throat. It was happening. His deepest, unspoken desire was happening. This time he’d get it right. They’d get it right. He knew it.
He drove off with a new lease on life, his whole future before him in a way he hadn’t felt since his youth.
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