Diana watched Scotty pace about the small parking lot, phone to his ear, nervous energy surrounding him like a cloud. He pocketed his hand then freed it, moving to tug at his full beard. She smiled. He took such good care of that beard, and she was the primary beneficiary.
He stopped pacing when he spotted her, biting his lip suggestively as he looked her up and down. He gave her a chef’s kiss and a dramatic bow as she walked to the car. She laughed, slipping into the passenger side. All that for a pair of mustard yellow tights and a white vest. She was never leaving his corny ass, that’s for sure. She threw her leather duffle bag into the backseat.
“Mel, come on! You promised.” Scotty complained, voice lowered so Diana wouldn’t hear. He craned his neck, confirming that the passenger door was closed.
“Can you chill out?” She laughed. “I’ll just be a little late. Your little romantic getaway is going to be fine.”
“Mel, I don’t want it to be fine, I want it great, epic, unforgettable.”
“Does my sister know how dramatic you are?”
“I’m hanging up.”
Mel laughed. “And the Oscar goes to…”
Scotty hung up and slid into the driver’s seat. “Hey, Baby.” He leaned in and kissed her. “You look… Jesus Christ!” He gestured, drawing her full hips in the air.
Diana laughed. “Can you just start driving?”
She fidgeted with the radio, connecting it to her phone, then she selected a road trip playlist.
He sang along to the song until they got to a verse he didn’t know.
“Thank God you thought of the music. I completely forgot.” He smiled at her. “This is why I love you, you know.”
Diana laughed. “Oh, good to know. I assumed it was all the other things I’m amazing at, not my playlists.”
He gave her a quick look, his eyes soft. “You’re thoughtful, and you’re a great partner. You make things better just by being there.”
Her fluttering heart jumped to her throat. Four years of this and she still wasn’t used to it. He’d just say things like that and keep it moving, not knowing he’d upended her insides.
“Uh, I love this song,” he announced, then jumped in singing along.
She smiled, then joined him in a less-than-impressive harmony that was more than perfection to her. A raindrop hit the windscreen, and she wished they were already there so they could cuddle and just watch it come down.
By the time they got to the little wooden cottage, it was a full-on deluge, and they had to run into the house to avoid being drenched. They laughed the whole way, dropping their bags at the door. Like clockwork, they walked to the triangular glass door and stood by it, looking at the garden in full bloom and the undulating hills in the distance. This view was the reason they kept booking this particular rental. She leaned into him, her arms going round his waist, his over her shoulders. She felt calmness seep into her just standing there.
“Let’s sit.” Scotty pulled back from her and dragged two seats to her. “I’ll get the wine.”
“I’ll be here,” she winked at him as she dropped into the cushioned seats.
He couldn’t help it, leaning down and kissing her before going off to get the wine.
Scotty watched her sit, his love for her like a thick scented cloud expanding in his chest. He loved her so much it scared him sometimes. He scrunched down by their bags, looking at her from that vantage point. He’d never wanted anyone, or anything more than he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Diana. He reached in and plucked the purple velvet case from his bag. His finger trembled as he felt the soft fabric. He took a deep breath, pocketing the box. The rest of his life was beginning today. He was so excited he wanted to holler or giggle or something, some sound was threatening to bubble out of him.
He carried the bottle of wine, a corkscrew and two wine glasses to her and poured one for each of them.
“Thanks, Baby,” Diana said, taking the glass from him. Electricity shot through him like it was their first touch. Four years together and still.
“Damn, this is good,” She took another sip.
“Knew you’d like it.”
He pushed his seat closer to her and threw his hand around the back of her seat. She leaned back into him with a sigh, her eyes on the hills and trees and grass and flowers and so many shades of green it was unreal. They sat there, the unabating rain hitting the windowpanes rhythmically, serenading them, lightning and thunder occasionally providing the bass. He could stay here forever. He wanted to stay here forever. Desperately.
The sun was setting on the horizon, darkness slowly encroaching. If he was going to do this, there was no better time than now.
He placed his wine glass on the floor. Slowly, he dropped to one knee before her. She glanced at him, then glanced away, then whizzed back, registering what was going on. Her eyes were saucers, her mouth gaping. Good, she was surprised, he’d wanted it to be a surprise. He laughed, nervous when he realised he couldn’t pull out the box. He stood up and pulled it out, then resumed the position.
Scotty reached for her hand, clasping it in his. “Dee, the day I met you was the luckiest day of my life. I thank God every day for that sick cat that brought the kindest, most colourful pharmacist into my life. Every one of my days has been better, brighter, lighter for having you in it because you are amazing, Dee. You are so singular, so independent, so special. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you as happy as you have made me. Will you marry me?”
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Her mind was a chaotic, noisy mess. She could barely hear what he was saying. Oh God. God, no. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting the tingling sensation that was crawling over her skin. She breathed in, trying to control her breathing and suppress the scream.
He rubbed her hands, a smile on his face. He didn’t think she’d be this shocked. They’d talked about it. Still, the real thing was nothing like just talking.
Diana opened her eyes. She looked dazed, blinking rapidly. She opened her mouth, her lips trembling but failing to produce a sound. She took a breath, shaking her head.
There was a split second where he was the dazed one, confused. It finally hit him. He gasped like he’d been punched.
She pulled her hand back.
He sagged onto the floor.
“Um, I can’t,” she rasped.
He took a series of deep breaths, trying to control his raging heart. He’d been so sure she’d say yes. So damn sure and so damn wrong. His head weighed a ton, but he struggled to lift it, needing to see her face, register this moment.
His eyes met her wet ones.
Almost like she couldn’t take it, she popped up and disappeared into the bathroom, the door slamming behind her. Ordinarily, he’d follow her, but right now, he didn’t have the energy to drag himself onto a chair, much less follow her all the way across the room. She’d looked frightened, terrified. Why would a proposal from him cause that?
Diana sat on the closed toilet seat, uncontrollable sobs racking through her. She clapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was his face crumbling as he realised what was happening, the excitement, the happiness draining out of him like a deflated toy. She’d done that. All he’d said was he loved her, and she’d taken a fat needle to his balloon of happiness.
He wasn’t sure how long he had sat there. All he knew as his ass was cramping and there was a solid frozen mass where his buoyant heart once sat. That and the fact that some asshole was ringing the doorbell.
“Fuck,” Scotty cussed when he remembered Mel was coming.
He dragged himself up.
“What the hell? I am wet as a fish. You owe me.” Mel yelled as he unlocked the door.
“Hey,” he croaked. He sounded like crap. He cleared his throat and moved to the side.
Mel narrowed her eyes at him as she rushed in.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, placing her package on the counter in the open-plan kitchen. She stepped back and pushed the door closed. He blinked, so he hadn’t done that.
His throat closed up. He wanted to say words, but he couldn’t draw them up. So, he shook his head and prayed that the hand squeezing his chest in a vice grip would release him at some point soon. He couldn’t breathe.
“Where’s Diana?” Her voice was shaky.
He pointed at the bathroom.
She rushed to it, flinging it open. It flew open.
“What’s wrong? Did he do something?” Mel asked, scanning Diana for injuries.
Diana shook her head, sniffled then blew her nose. “No.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Proposed.” She croaked, head buried in her hands.
Mel exhaled with relief. “Oh.”
She sank onto the floor and leaned back, eyes closed, head resting on the wall.
They sat like that until it was so dark they couldn’t see each other. Mel stood up and closed the door. She switched on the lights but switched them back off when Diana protested.
She sat back on the floor, leaning on the wall. “You’re going to have to tell him.”
Diana shook her head.
“You’re going to have to tell him. There’s no other way.”
“I can’t.”
“So, you’re saying you’re done. It’s over. Fine, then you have to tell him that. Either way, you’re going to have to tell him something.”
Diana washed her face, trying to muster the courage for what she had to do. Mel was right, she had to tell him something.
She trudged into the living room, trying to find Scotty in the darkness. He was on the couch, sitting up so rigidly, he didn’t move when she walked in.
She sat on the only other couch, perpendicular to his. She cleared her throat. “Can I explain? I want to explain. I need to explain.”
He looked up at her, thankful for the darkness. The huge windows let in light, but not enough for his expression to embarrass him any further. His heart was already racing, hope fluttering in his chest.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, but before you do. I want you to know it’s okay if you don’t want to get married. It’s cool. I was just shocked cause I had this whole idea in my head…” He laughed. “But it’s cool. It’s okay. It’s fine.” He finished in a jumbled rush.
Diana cleared her throat. “I told you about my dad, how he…”
She took a deep breath, rubbing her chest like she was trying to comfort herself, and he wanted to rush to her and hug her. Instead, he did the next best thing: finished the sentence for her so she wouldn’t have to say it.
“Abused your mom, yeah. I remember.” He whispered.
“It happened to me, too.”
He froze, a chill running through him. “Your dad…?”
Now, who needed help completing their sentences?
Diana shook her head, tears spilling out.
Scotty rushed to her seat, rubbing her back as she hunched into herself.
She sniffled. “I dated this guy. He was nothing like my dad. All the opposites. He spoke softly, was gentle, did his nails, believed in women’s equality, and all the things. He proposed then I moved in with him. That’s when he changed. Suddenly I was the stupidest, ugliest bitch on the planet. I didn’t do anything right. My food sucked. My voice was high and annoying.” She laughed bitterly. “My laugh was worse than Janice’s laugh on Friends. She had like a grating laugh… Anyway, so I changed my hair, my clothes, my walk, how I talked and laughed, when I talked and laughed.”
She fell silent for more than a minute. “When you asked, it triggered me. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“He didn’t hit me, ever. Didn’t even yell, and I was terrified of him. I was my mom all over again. I’d sworn I’d never be like her. I was going to be smart, going to choose better.” She laughed again. “So stupid.”
“Stop.” He dropped to his hunches before her. He lifted her tear-streaked face, meeting her eyes. “It was not your fault, and you’re not stupid. You were not stupid then, and you’re not stupid now.”
She dragged her eyes back to the floor.
“I stayed with him for two years until Mel…” she shrugged. “She helped me, reminded me.”
Diana fell silent again. “So, you see, I can’t live with you. I can’t.”
“Because it started when you moved in together.” He rubbed her thighs, trying to offer comfort,
She nodded.
“Okay.”
She looked up at him, eyes wide with question.
“If you can’t, you can’t, right?” Scotty shrugged. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”
She looked up at him, eyes filled with tears.
“I want you, you know that. We don’t have to live together, we don’t live together now, and we’re great.”
“You still want to get married?”
He nodded. “Yeah.” He wiped her tears with his thumb. “We were signing next of kin forms at work, and I realised I want you to be mine. If anything happens to me, I want you to get everything you want without worrying or fighting with anybody. I just wanted the safety things for you, for us.” He squeezed her hand in his. “It’s okay if you can’t, we don’t have to, we’ll figure out other things. I just want to be with you.”
“Yes.”
He blinked, swallowing harshly.
“Yes. I’ll marry you.” She kissed his forehead, then his lips. “Actually, show me the ring first, then I’ll tell you.”
He laughed, wrapping her in a tight embrace. They held the hug, relieved.
He crawled to where he’d been sitting, filling around for the box. He came back, got onto one knee and flipped it open.
Her mouth dropped open at the sight of the white gold ring and the startling blue pear-shaped Tanzanite crowning it. “Wow.”
He took it out and slipped it onto her finger. “So, yes, huh?”
She smiled at him. “Yes.”
“Thank God,” Mel exclaimed, switching on the lights. “Let’s eat the cake.”
Diana and Scotty closed their eyes, squinting in protest.
“There’s cake?” Diana popped up following Mel into the kitchen.
“Yes, Scotty asked me to deliver it yesterday, but then things happened, so here I am with the cake.”
“It was supposed to just be the cake,” Scotty mumbled.
“Whatever, this is happening,” Mel threw back. “Cope.”
They spent the evening playing board games and stuffing their faces with cake and wine, laughter flowing freely as the wind and rain serenaded them.
Fortunately, one of the seats was a sofa bed. Before the discovery, it had been decided that he would take the couch with the girls sharing the bed. Thank God for that sofa bed. Now he was in bed with her. Scotty tightened his hold on Diana, his chest flooding with gratitude for so much. She nestled into him with a sleepy sigh, and his life was complete.
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