Money conversations are awkward as hell. Nobody wants to be the person calculating who owes what for groceries or arguing about splitting the electric bill. But here’s the thing, avoiding these talks will bite you in the ass later.
There’s this Reddit post where this woman was asking if she should give her boyfriend half her rental income when she moves into his place. Reading it made stomachs drop everywhere. Girl, no. Just… no.
Here is the post by: Fun_Sky_9278
I (46F) and my partner (57M) of 5 years are talking about moving in together after my kids (From previous marriage) have moved out.
He has a fully paid off house and I have a house with mortgage. It’s likely that I will have to move into his house as it’s bigger, and I rent out my house with a rental income of around $600 per week. When we spoke about how to manage our finances, he suggested I pay half of all the bills and groceries, plus 50% of my rental income that I receive from my house. Paying half of all the bills and groceries I completely understand but half of my rental income to him even though he has no mortgage, I didn’t think it was fair.
I didn’t quite understand why he wanted me to give him 50% of my rental income first, he then explained that in case we break up and he doesn’t want to feel like I have taken advantage of him and the living situation, and to make things fair, we should chip in 50/50 in everything.
I don’t feel though this is a 50/50 deal, more like 80/20 deal with him benefiting more than me. I would pay a maximum of $150 a week rent plus bills and groceries. That is around the amount I am willing to pay, not $300 a week rent plus bills and groceries.
As a side note, my income is around $75K, and his is around $85K (half of which comes from his rental from his own investment property).
Reddit Comments
“You’ve been together for 5 years and still don’t live together, I assume because he doesn’t want to live with your kids. The second you move in, he expects to take half of your rental income from a house that doesn’t belong to him despite the fact that you will still have to make payments on the mortgage, meaning he would get more from your house than you do. This is so he doesn’t feel taken advantage of. I don’t even know what to say to that.
He already makes more money than you and has his own rental property that I assume he is keeping 100% of the money from, while expecting you to split 50/50 on yours, the second money starts coming in.
Holy christ… I’m sorry to be rude here, but how many red flags do you need?”
“These are the kind of guys that won’t marry you because ‘marriage is bad for men’ and ‘why do I need a piece of paper when we could just be together without it’. It’s so they can steal your money btw and then leave without having to pay it back.”
“Honestly, him saying ‘in case we break up’ doesn’t sound very motivating to take a step further on the relationship ladder. Moving in together is a big deal. If he’s already looking ahead to ‘in case we break up’ then…. nah. Date him if you want OP, but he’s not looking for a girlfriend/wife to move in with him. He’s looking for a roommate.”
“I try to also think of relationship financial equity in terms of what position it puts people in if they break up. This is a clear win for him and lose for you OP. He gets the equity out of his house plus whatever he gains from an extra $300 a week, and you get to put less down on your mortgage/investments because he’s hashed your income… I would also worry about anyone who wants to hamper your freedom of movement and independence who doesn’t /need/ to as a part of collaborating on paying bills and building a sound financial profile /together/. Prime setting for financial abuse.”
“She should tell her bf it makes more sense to move into her smaller home (bills will be less) and he can rent his home and give HER half of that rental income. I bet I know what he’ll say about that…”
“As your partner, he should be fundamentally interested in helping you achieve more financial security, not taking that away from you. He should be thrilled that he can help you move into a position to be making passive income from that property. In a true partnership, anything that strengthens either partner strengthens both.”
“Also, not to suggest he’s entitled to your rental income, but his surface value calculation isn’t your rental income. Not by a long shot! Your income is after the costs of ownership (mortgage, landlord insurance, property taxes, and a monthly contribution to a sinking fund for repairs and maintenance). Then any agency fees if you use a rental company to find and vet your tenants and lastly personal income taxes and other deductions, and your ‘workplace’ pension contributions from the rental income (it’s a business, treat it like one and make your pension contributions). The remainder is your rental ‘income’.”
“The whole convo should be a cost discussion and not an income discussion… In my mind: Bills are 50/50 unless one of you has an absurd and foreseeable use of water, electricity, upgraded wifi, etc. Rent is whatever seems fair for taking up space like the bed, bathroom, kitchen, house space, spare space for office work etc (not half of the market rent for the same space). Income discussions are largely off limits unless someone is driving a lifestyle the other can’t afford.”
“So you would lose money. Rent 1500 Mtg 1000 His half 750 You are out 250 each month plus any costs to maintain the property. No go.”
“I guess as soon as you move in together, it will be your part to do the laundry, the dishes, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning etc. or did he say he’s doing half of it? And if he said it, WILL he actually? Or will you have some kind of cleaning lady? No? So basically he’s getting paid to let his maid stay in the same house as he does, with the bonus of sex every now and then.”
“If he has investment properties are you getting half of that? If not then tell him a long as I get 50% of your investment property earnings.”
“He’ll also be sharing in equity on his house over the time you live there, yet you won’t because your name is not on the deed. You will likely lose the homestead status for your home and your property taxes will be much higher, negating some of the rental income.”
“Women have to protect themselves. Once over 40, we must protect ourselves even more.”
“Unless he is also paying 50% of the upkeep on your rental (mortgage, property tax, maintenance work ECT) and giving you 50% of his rental income then do NOT move in with him and seriously consider leaving his a$$!!”
“When I was stupid enough to pay rent to my house owning boyfriend, I wasn’t allowed to get back in to get my stuff once I left him, because I had no legal contract that said I was a tenant. He kept everything worthy (electronics, jewelry, my cat(!!!), expensive furniture…).”
“Propose this to him: HE moves into YOUR house with you and rents out his own. He splits expenses with you, plus pays you half of what he makes on that rent.”
“I don’t love that you’re multiple years into this relationship and he’s reasoning with, ‘if we break up.’ Relationships always come with a risk, but at this point it’s been long enough that, imo caveating major decisions with that potential just tells me he’s already got his hand on the doorknob and is ready to go at the slightest inconvenience.”
“We’re all looking at this and hoping that you realize that what he’s suggested is putting you in a significant financial deficit and him in a significantly improved financial situation. Why would someone who loves you want to do that?”
“It seems he’s looking to OP as another rental investment and not creating a household with his partner of FIVE years. 50/50 expenses, OP keeps her rental income. This is about the next step in the relationship or not.”
“Love or Hate Dave Ramsey, but I’m on board with him when it comes to comingling money. If you’re not married, yours is yours and theirs is theirs, but once married, it’s time to bring everything together. If BF was willing to give OP 50% of his rental income, then asking for 50% of hers would make a lot more sense.”
Let’s Talk About Money
Your parents probably didn’t sit you down for “money talks.” Most didn’t. But as adults, pretending money doesn’t matter in relationships is like pretending calories don’t count on weekends, a sweet lie, but reality hits hard.
Before you start sharing toothbrush space, have these conversations:
- How did your family handle money? Were they savers, spenders, or stressed-out bill dodgers?
- What are you scared of financially? Debt? Being broke? Not having enough for emergencies?
- What are your actual goals? House? Travel? Starting a business?
Three Ways to Split Expenses (That Don’t Suck)
The Fair Share Plan: You make 60% of the household income? You pay 60% of the bills. Makes sense, right? Nobody’s eating ramen while their partner orders DoorDash daily.
The “You Handle That” Split: One person loves paying bills and planning? Great, they handle rent and utilities. The other person’s better with day-to-day stuff? They’ve got groceries and entertainment covered.
Joint Account Magic: Pool money for shared expenses, keep your accounts for personal stuff. Like having a shared Netflix account but your own Amazon Prime.
Don’t Be That Person Who Gets Screwed
Property is serious business. It’s your security blanket, your backup plan, sometimes your family’s legacy. If you own something before moving in together, keep it clear who owns what.
That Reddit woman? Her boyfriend wanted her to pay household expenses AND give him half her rental income from a property he doesn’t own. Meanwhile, he keeps 100% of his rental income. The math ain’t mathing, honey.
Red Flags That Should Make You Run
Someone who wants access to your money but keeps theirs locked up tight? Nah. Someone who dismisses your concerns with “you’re being dramatic”? Hell no. Someone who talks about “when we break up” while asking for your money? BYE.
After five years together, if they’re still planning your breakup, maybe help them out and make it happen now.
The Awkward “What If” Chat
Nobody moves in planning to break up, but shit happens. Talk about what happens to the lease, who keeps the couch you bought together, and how much notice you’ll give each other. It’s not romantic, but neither is fighting over a coffee maker at 2 AM.
Make It a Routine
Once a month, sit down with coffee and check in. Are things working? Any money stress? Upcoming expenses? Make it chill, maybe over brunch or during a lazy Sunday morning.
Look, the person who really loves you wants you to be financially secure too, not just themselves. If your gut is screaming something’s unfair, listen to it. Your instincts are probably right.
What’s worked for you? Drop your stories in the comments, we’re all just trying to figure this out together.
Check out:
Money, In-Laws And Conflicts: Here Are Red Flags When It Comes To Finances And Family
Parenting: Important Money Conversations To Have With Teens As They Prepare For Adulthood
Money: What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Retirement
9 Simple Ways You Can Stretch Your Money When You Are Facing Financial Challenges
