Many parents dread the day their children ask, “How are babies made?” Gone are the days when parents lied that children were bought in supermarkets and such tales. With access to the internet and information, your children might be curious about their origin much sooner than you anticipated.
Although this might seem like a difficult conversation with your five or 7-year-old, it is essential to get it right early on. Your child will get their answers from other sources, which might be incorrect or age-inappropriate; you want to establish yourself as the authority on sex education matters to your child.
Having such conversations with your child also helps you create a safe space for them to talk to you about sensitive topics in the future. Here are a few tips to remember as you discuss with your young child.
Establish What Your Child Knows
Before explaining how babies are made to your kids, determine how much they know. Your kid might have developed their curiosity because there is a pregnant person around them or heard about the topic from other kids. Start by asking what they know.
You could ask, “Do you know babies grow in the belly?” Then, you could take the opportunity to explain that women have a uterus, which is different from the stomach. Some kids will be curious to know how a child lives in the womb.
Children of different ages have different comprehension levels, so you would have different explanations for your 4-year-old from your 7-year-old.
Use Short Answers and Stick to the Facts
Short answers work best for younger kids. Take time to understand what your child is asking, and refrain from veering off topic. If your five-year-old asks, “How do babies come out of a mommy’s body?”, you can tell them they come out through a C-section or the vagina.
When talking about a C-section, use words that don’t make it sound scary for your child. Stick to using scientific explanations.
Incorporate Such Conversations in Day-to-day Activities
Past generations had “the talk,” which referred to a conversation about sex probably during teenage years. For most children, the discussion mainly focused on warning them against sex. In today’s era, children get access to information about sex before reaching puberty. If they don’t get the information from you, they’ll get it from another source.
Naming their body parts during bath time can lay the foundation for such conversations when they are younger. You could also introduce the conversation about consent by letting them know that nobody should touch their genitals, and they should tell you if that happens.
You want to avoid having these discussions in a serious and formal setting at this stage so that it doesn’t create communication barriers. Children don’t understand sexuality like adults, so try not to make it an embarrassing topic.
Also, remember this isn’t a one-off discussion. Having ongoing discussions has a better effect because different things spark curiosity or trigger such conversations. Incorporating sex education in daily life events creates an open-door model where your child can ask you questions without fear as they arise.
Use Available Resources to Help You Explain
You don’t have to do it alone. Some books and videos can help you explain to your child where babies come from and related topics. The books and illustrations use age-appropriate language making it easier for you. However, make sure you vet these tools to be sure that their explanations align with your family’s values.
Offer to Answer Later
Your child asking how babies are made can catch you off-guard; letting them know you need time to find the right way to explain is okay. Make sure you follow up because they could still find their answer elsewhere.
Remember to be Inclusive.
While your family may have children naturally, others require extra help or use other channels. It’s a good moment to explain to your child that some parents get their children through adoption or IVF. The child’s age would determine the explanation; you don’t have to go into specifics.
Talking about adoption helps you nurture an empathetic child. It normalizes adoption such that if they encounter adopted children in school, they have a better grasp of that family setup.
Create a Safe Space for Your Children’s Sex Education
Sex-ed topics have previously been hush-hush topics in many cultures. Unfortunately, burying your head in the sand won’t cut it. The lack of correct and adequate information had adverse effects on past generations. You can’t take chances with kids’ access to information today.
It may feel awkward initially, but you can practice having such conversations until they become easier. The goal is to equip your child with age-appropriate information and prevent them from gaining inaccurate information from other sources.
You also want to ensure your children have healthy attitudes towards sexuality. Create an environment where your children can ask follow-up questions.
Also, check out
Grooming: What Parents And Guardians Should Know And What Should Be Done To Protect Children
Conversations Every Parent Should Have With Their Children
