Never entertain your man’s female bestie no matter how much he swears that there’s nothing going on between them. It’s a risk that’s not worth taking because if it turns out to be a lie, you will end up crying premium tears. I used to be an understanding girlfriend but it got me nowhere. I let my man get away with so many things and wouldn’t say anything even when I was being disrespected right in front of my face. Maybe I was madly in love or brainwashed.
However, Justin knew exactly what he was doing. He invited me to his place on many occasions when the girl was around yet he didn’t tell me that she was his bestie. I found out he had a female bestie a few months into the relationship and he wasn’t even the one who told me about it.
I noticed that Anita, the bestie, always had a bad attitude when I was around. There was nothing that I had done to warrant the behaviour so I assumed she simply had feelings for my man. I didn’t blame her. Justin was an attractive guy. Any girl would fall for him. However, it still didn’t explain the attitude.
The other girls in his circle of friends didn’t treat me the way Anita did. In fact, they were so friendly. I was closer to them than she was yet she had been in the friend group for longer. One of the girls was the one who finally let me know what was going on.
“Did you see what Anita did?” I asked.
“What did she do?” Gina asked.
“She brought everyone a plate except me.”
The girls looked at each other in an awkward way and then tried to change the subject.
“I don’t understand why she is always rude to me.” I continued.
“You know she used to date Justin.”
“What? No, I didn’t know that. I thought she was just his bestie.”
“They dated briefly.”
I was angry but didn’t say anything to Justin until we were in private because I didn’t want to embarrass my man. Additionally, I thought he had a good reason for not telling me about the past relationship.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Anita used to date?”
“Who told you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Well, that relationship doesn’t matter either. I’m with you now.”
“She’s your bestie. What if something happens between you two?”
“That’s impossible. I don’t have feelings for her anymore.”
With that simple explanation, he managed to convince me that they were nothing more than best friends. Before you judge me, I have a good reason for my naivety. By the time everything unfolded, I had deep feelings for Justin and I was looking at the situation through rose-coloured glasses. Additionally, Justin hadn’t given me a reason to think that he was cheating on me. If it wasn’t for Anita’s attitude towards me, I would never have found out about their past.
I sort of brushed off the whole situation and continued living life as usual. At least, I finally knew why Anita was always hostile to me. However, the situation didn’t improve. If anything, it got worse. Anita was meaner, more aggressive and downright abusive towards me.
“What is she doing here?” She asked loudly when she saw me at one of her cookouts.
“Calm down.” Justin tried to whisper but I could hear him.
“I told you that I never want to see her in my house.”
She then turned to me and yelled, “Get out of my place.”
I was confused since I had barely said anything to Anita so I didn’t know why she was so angry at me. However, I didn’t want any problems so I left. Justin drove me home and then went back to the cookout. He came back past midnight in the happiest mood I had ever seen him in.
“How could you stay out so late when you know that I’m all alone and I don’t feel good?” I asked calmly.
“I didn’t realize how late it was.”
“Gina called me hours ago and told me that she had left the party. Why did you stay for so long?”
“I was just catching up with my bestie.”
“I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“I’ve told you so many times that you don’t need to worry about anything.”
“Well, you’re doing a poor job of convincing me. Sometimes I think that you’re still sleeping with her.”
I finally confronted him and he laughed in my face. He didn’t even bother explaining anything after that. He just walked past me and went to the bedroom then blacked out. I stayed up till morning thinking about my relationship. Something was obviously going on but I didn’t want to accept that Anita was the cause of my problems.
I felt humiliated that I was losing my man to his alleged bestie and the more I stayed in the relationship, the worse I felt. It was like I was an option yet I was Justin’s girlfriend. It got to a point where we stopped doing some things together because Anita would be around.
However, Justin didn’t seem bothered by the situation. He went on with his life as if nothing was happening. Meanwhile, I was crying myself to sleep every night.
I tried to make the relationship work and to make him forget about Anita but nothing worked. So, I thought that if I gave him some space, he would miss me and come running back to me. He didn’t. I actually think he was waiting for the day that I left.
“I’m going to stay with a friend for a while,” I told him.
“Okay. When will you be back?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Okay.” He answered nonchalantly,
I didn’t contact him when I left and he didn’t bother to call and check if I was okay. When we didn’t talk for over a month, I realized the relationship was dead. It was time to count my loss and move on.
However, I needed closure so I reached out to him and in true Justin fashion, he didn’t give me much of an explanation but at least he admitted that he had been sleeping with Anita the whole time we were together. It was painful but knowing the truth helped me to finally close that chapter of my life,
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