I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous as I watched all my friends get married and pregnant. I wondered what I was doing wrong until I realized I was doing everything wrong. It wasn’t until my best friend got pregnant and engaged that I really looked at my life and decided to make some changes. For starters, I needed to get my sex life in order. I figured that I should at least have a baby even if I wouldn’t get married.
My best friend and I were like two peas in a pod, hence why we were best friends. We had the same taste in everything, including men. However, the man she got engaged to was very different from the kind that we would be attracted to. He wasn’t the rich, well-dressed guy who talked with an accent. He was just a regular guy. There was nothing special about him. I found myself looking at him during their engagement party and wondering what my best friend saw in him.
However, he did everything to make Wendy happy. Their engagement might not have been lavish but everyone could feel the love and happiness in the air which made me a bit envious but I was happy for her nonetheless.
My life, on the other hand, was a mess. I wasn’t sure where my relationship was headed since I hardly saw or spoke to my boyfriend. I was used to going back to a cold, lonely apartment and staying up till midnight waiting for my boyfriend to come home only for him to say a few words then head straight to the bedroom and sleep.
This was because my boyfriend, Sam, had a very complicated work schedule. He was a developer for an international company so he worked at very odd hours. His work days would start around 6 pm and end around 2 am since his colleagues were based in the U.S.
He wasn’t the first person to have colleagues in a different country or to work at odd times of the day. Yet, he made it seem like it was impossible to have a life outside his work. He made no effort to coordinate with me so we could have some time together. Instead, he pushed me to quit my job.
“How will this relationship work if we don’t even see each other? I don’t remember the last time we had sex.” I complained.
“If it’s such a big deal, why don’t you quit your job? I make enough money to support us and we can have lots of time together before I go to work.” He suggested.
It was a solution but it wasn’t realistic. I couldn’t quit a well-paying job and most importantly, I couldn’t stay unemployed even if Sam was willing to pay for everything.
“I can’t quit my job. Why don’t you quit your job and look for another one with better working hours?” I protested.
Since it was pointless to reason with him, I decided to vent to Wendy hoping that she could give me a solution.
“Leave him.” She said firmly. “You’re not getting any younger and if he’s not making any efforts now, he won’t make them later.”
I knew she was right but I didn’t want to give up and start the dating process again.
“I’ve never seen a man who’s so disinterested in sex. I’ve tried everything from wearing sexy lingerie to buying sex toys and nothing works.”
“That man is simply not into you and it’s better if you realize that soon enough so you can leave him before it’s too late.”
I was determined to make the relationship work. Apart from the dying sex life, Sam was the kind of man I wanted to be the father of my children. He was intelligent, hard-working, and well-mannered. Additionally, I knew my children would never lack anything because both their parents would be rich.
On the other hand, Wendy insisted that I was beating a dead horse. She was sure that the relationship wouldn’t work out. I chose to ignore her advice and gave it one last try.
“If we don’t have sex in the next month then I’ll end the relationship,” I promised her.
It felt strange making such a promise since it was something that came naturally to me. Now, I had to make plans to have sex with my partner. I was willing to do it since it was the only way to make the relationship work.
I went back home and thought of a plan. The only thing that was on my mind for the next few days was having sex with my partner. He seemed oblivious to my intentions even though I had been dropping hints.
I made him a romantic dinner and waited for him to come home only for him to take a few bites and go to bed. A few nights, I tried it again and he still didn’t give me any attention. Time was ticking and I had to do something soon or end the relationship.
“Can you take a day off from work?” I asked Sam desperately.
To my surprise, he agreed.
“Sure. I need a break anyway.”
For the first time in a long time, we went out on a date and had a long conversation. It was such an amazing experience that I couldn’t stop smiling. Sam was also in good spirits which made me hopeful that we would finally have sex.
However, things changed when we got home. I tried to kiss him but he pushed me away and made his way to the bedroom. I followed him and tried to kiss him again but he kept pushing me away.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. I’m just tired.”
“Tired. We just came from a date.”
“Yeah. The alcohol made me drowsy.”
He got undressed and got into bed. I still wasn’t willing to give up so I tried to seduce him. He simply turned to the other side and went to sleep. I went to sleep on the couch since I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping next to him.
The following day, I got up before him, took a shower and got dressed. While I was getting dressed, he finally woke up.
“I’m leaving,” I said.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. I just need a break.”
“Fine, but don’t come back if you leave.”
His statement caught me by surprise since I was going to see my friend and talk to her about my challenges. However, it was the wake-up call I had been trying to ignore. Sam didn’t love me or care about me. If he did, he would have put more effort into the relationship despite his busy work schedule.
I didn’t fight back or argue with him. I packed my things silently while he watched TV and left without saying anything to him. When I told Wendy what had happened, she assured me that I had made the right decision. I might not have had the happily ever after I wanted with Sam but at least I dodged a bullet and saved myself years of misery.
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