Valentine’s Day is one of the most festive days for couples. However, there are things to avoid on Valentine’s Day if you’re newly single.
Seeing so many happy couples can make you feel lonelier than ever if you’re recovering from a breakup.
Common reasons why you could be newly single include:
- Infidelity of either you or your partner
- A lack of mutual trust
- Incompatibility
- Your partner moving away permanently
- Intimate partner abuse
- Negligence
With such fresh hurt, you may struggle with some ill-advised impulses. Here are some things you shouldn’t do on your first Valentine’s Day alone.
1. Avoid Contacting Your Ex
It may be tempting to pick up the phone and call your former significant other, but things ended for a reason. If there was truly a chance for reconciliation, it should be pursued at a neutral time when you aren’t feeling lonely. Furthermore, attempting to reach out to them can impede your healing process and prevent you from moving on.
While avoiding contact with your former partner, ensure to avoid their social media. You should also not reach out to mutual friends to ask how your ex is doing.
2. Avoid Wallowing
Feeling sorry for yourself is easy when you are suddenly alone, and everyone seems paired up. However, succumbing to feelings of despair may not be healthy.
You can find a new hobby for occupying your mind.
Furthermore, you can also perform services for others. While it may be easier to focus on your grief, helping others can help you feel better.
You can shop for gifts for your friends, offer to babysit for friends and relatives or make cookies for your coworkers.
3. Avoid Romantic Media
It’s not advisable to attend buffets while fasting or dieting. Likewise, you don’t need to create nostalgia and remember the good old days by watching or listening to romantic media.
A cry-flick or listening to sad music may be a good idea. Studies show that listening to sad music when you’re extremely sad can improve your mood.
However, watching romcoms and love stories can easily tempt you to reach out to your ex, which can slow down your healing.
4. Don’t Go On A Date Too Soon
Another thing to avoid on Valentine’s Day if newly single is to go on a date just to avoid being lonely.
Many experts suggest waiting for a month if the relationship lasted less than a year.
Furthermore, it may be unfair to your date to spend time with them on a significant holiday when you’re still mourning the loss of your relationship.
Until the resulting bitterness from the separation fades, and you can think kindly about the situation, it may be best to avoid dating.
5. Don’t Mess Up Your Couple Friends’ Plans
This is rare and may be unconscious, but it can be easy to get overtaken by jealousy on Valentine’s Day if you’re newly single. Don’t succumb to the instinct to make demands of your couple friends and ruin their night.
If your closest friends are married or in serious relationships, they may have set aside the day as a special day for themselves. Your vulnerability on that day can push you off the deep end if you let it, and you can ruin a special night if you keep calling or texting because you’re not ok.
To combat such feelings, you can help your friends by house-sitting for them, watching their kids when they go out, hanging out with your friend before the big night, and helping them shop for gifts.
Acts of service can help resolve feelings of jealousy and make you happy.
Valentine’s Day, if you’re newly single, can be difficult. Small actions can help you navigate the day and come out better healed. However, calling a close friend or using online counselling services can significantly help if the sadness feels unbearable.
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