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The Singlehood Series: I Became A Matchmaker For My Friends Instead Of Dating

Group of friends. Image from https://millennialnewworld.com/the-inherent-sisterhood-of-black-female-friendship/

The Singlehood Series: I Became A Matchmaker For My Friends Instead Of Dating

Always the matchmaker, never the match.

Singlehood Series by Singlehood Series
November 10, 2022
in The Singlehood Series
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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Dating is a numbers game. The more dates you go on, the more likely you are to find the one or at least go on a second and third date. However, my friends didn’t seem to understand this. In fact, it’s like they had made me their designated matchmaker. Every time we went out, they’d ask me to invite one of my male friends then they’d end up hitting it off.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy that I can play matchmaker for my friends. Whether they were looking for a serious relationship or a casual hookup, they always seemed to find it in one of my friends. My only issue was that the same energy was not reciprocated. I’m not an aggressive person and I rarely make the first move. So, maybe it was hard for my friends to tell me if and who I wanted to date. As time went by, however, I became more vocal.

“When are you going to introduce me to your single friends?” I asked my best friend.

“Babe, you don’t even like boys.” She said jokingly or at least I assumed it was a joke.

However, they continued to brush off my protests. They were in happy relationships so I was no longer their priority. I started seeing less and less of them. It was only until one of them went through a breakup that they’d come crying to me to play matchmaker again. I had grown tired of the cycle. Though I wanted the best for my friends, I also wanted my own time to date. I soon came to realize that that was not possible.

Since my friends weren’t going to be my matchmaker, I decided to go on dates on my own. They were mostly disastrous but finally, I went on the first good date. Then I went on another date with the guy and soon, we were spending a lot of time together.

Now, I was the one who was ghosting my friends and staying for days without seeing them. They called me relentlessly. It got to a point where my boyfriend was irritated.

“You either tell them to leave you alone or I’m leaving. You’re getting calls at 3 am every day. How are we supposed to have peace?” He complained.

“My friend is going through a breakup. Try to understand that.”

“I understand but it’s becoming too much.”

Sure enough, he left. My friends kept calling and texting until they drove him away. I was back to square one and I still had to be a matchmaker.

“Sorry sis, but look on the bright side. Now you have more time to spend with us.” My friend said.

I gave her a deathly stare.

“You’re the reason we broke up!”

“Don’t stress about these things. There’s plenty of fish in the sea. Speaking of, how’s that handsome friend of yours.”

I breathed heavily and then answered, “Which one?”

“Ken.”

“Ken? That’s Shirley’s boyfriend.”

“So? I want him.”

My friends had played matchmaker with all my male friends and now they wanted each other’s boyfriends. I knew Ken very well and he was a certified player so I wasn’t surprised that Grace was asking about him. He must have winked at her, stared at her ass for too long, or given her some kind of sign that he wanted her. However, what surprised me was that Grace was willing to throw away her friendship with Shirley over some boy. In fact, this was what our friendship had come to – matchmaking and boys.

“He’s taken.” I insisted.

“I don’t care!!” She yelled then calmed down. “He said he’ll come to meet me if you’re there.”

“So now I’ve gone from being a matchmaker to helping you cheat with your friend’s boyfriend?”

“He wants to break up with her.”

“He’s just saying that to make you happy. I know him.”

“Just call him.”

“I’m not going to call him because I’m not going to help you cheat. I’m also done being a matchmaker.”

I managed to cut off my friends for a while but things only got worse. They started fighting amongst themselves over the men I had hooked them up with. I had to call the men to end the relationships. It was a whole mess. Out of the tens of friends that had played a matchmaker role in their relationships, only two of them stayed together. The rest broke up and ended up blaming me for their problems.

However, I was glad the drama was finally over. After the dust had settled, we started going out as friends again. We all agreed that we should be a matchmaker for anyone in the friend group. As a thank you, though, one of my friends tried to hook me up with her male friend.

We went on a few dates but it was not working for us. I was constantly paranoid that what had happened to them would happen to me. Though he was a good match, I couldn’t be with him anymore. I’m also keen on keeping my relationship extremely private which has made it hard to find a long-term thing. Most guys find it strange that I always switch off my phone when I’m with them and that they don’t know any of my friends.

I’m just glad my friends learned their lessons and they don’t ask me to be their matchmaker anymore. I was sick and tired of the role since it was robbing me of my own relationships. We’re all now happily single and drama free. Well, not me. I still want to be in a relationship and I will not give up. I just have to be better at keeping my friends out of my love life. The two who are in relationships have also decided to keep their love life out of the friend group.

Though our friendship is back to normal, I still feel embarrassed by the way they behaved with my male friends. This was also a wake-up call that I need more mature friends.

Check out

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We Broke Up Because Of His Relationship With His Female Best Friend

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