Let’s start by saying that I’m not a heartbroken man nor this is not a sad love story. This is just an interesting chapter of my life that I wanted to share with you. I found out I was bisexual during my second year in university and from then I’ve dated both sexes. When I met this amazing girl, things weren’t exactly picture perfect. However, I didn’t expect that she would leave me heartbroken.
It was at an event back in March of 2014 where she was performing as a poet. My then ex-girlfriend and a boyfriend tagged along with me and we all mingled until I bumped into her. It was an instant attraction and before we knew it, we were exchanging numbers and talking about her performance.
“What did I sign myself up for?” she asked questioning her decision to perform in front of the large crowd.
“I know you got this. You’re literally the most confident person I’ve ever met.” I reassured her.
That was actually true. What drew me most to her was her calm and collected persona. She spoke with such eloquence and a slight American accent. I don’t know where she picked that up from but it worked for her. Even when she stood, she was steady. She didn’t sway or fidget so I found it amusing when she said she was nervous. Nonetheless, I helped calm her nerves and she hit the stage shortly after.
The crowd loved her and I couldn’t have been more impressed by anyone. I even forgot I came with some company and we spent the rest of the day together. I knew she was out of my league but I still chased her. There was no way I could let things go so easily.
Lord, I was in awe. At first, I thought it was an innocent girl crush until I found myself spending nights thinking about her. It didn’t take long for me to tell her how I felt but I didn’t expect her response. She liked me back and I felt like screaming it to the whole world.
We spent months talking – 18 months, specifically – until I summoned the guts to ask her out. I didn’t know many nice restaurants nor did I have the money to take her on a fancy date but we met for coffee at a cute café in town. She wore a blue floral dress with ballet shoes and I wore blue jeans, a black shirt and sneakers. I couldn’t stop playing with the shakers on the table and she kept putting them back in place.
By the end of the date, I had sweat through my shirt and I was sure I wouldn’t see or hear from her again. Then I saw an incoming call.
“Hey. I just wanted to let you know I got home safe.” She said as soon as I answered the phone.
“G…Good.” I hesitated unsure if I wasn’t dreaming. “I had fun.”
“Me too. You’re so funny. I like talking to you.” She replied and we went on to talk for another hour.
From then on, we met regularly. I’d accompany her to her poetry events and other concerts and watched her nurture her talent. Each time, she got better and better. In three short months, she became a natural and our bond only grew closer. We were in the honeymoon stage of our relationship and we did every cliché thing you can think of. We went for bike rides, finished each other sentences, stayed up looking at the sky and wrote each other cheesy poems. Hers was better, of course.
Around the same time, she started her final semester at school and reality hit hard. I barely saw her anymore. She was always working on her project or following up on some grades. I’d hear less from her every day. She no longer laughed at my lame jokes and soon, she stopped replying my text completely. I had to beg her repeatedly to talk to me and when she called we barely spoke for two minutes.
It was obvious that we had drifted apart. Despite my attempts to be a part of her life, she preferred her solitude. I tried to give her the space she wanted but in turn, it cost me my happiness and the relationship was turning sour. Then one day, she called me out the blue.
“I think we should break up.” her voice echoed on the other end.
I was speechless. As much as I knew the end was inevitable, I still hoped everything could work itself out. I guess that’s not how love works.
“All I ever did was love you but I won’t beg anymore. You can take all the space you want.”
Just like that, I was single and heartbroken. I’m not much of a crier but I cried that day. I cried myself to sleep and woke up the next morning to the same reality. No text or missed call from her. It was truly over. Her ghost haunted me for several days until I decided to take a trip to find myself. I wouldn’t wonder if things could have gone differently anymore.
During the trip, I discovered a different side of me. I learnt to appreciate and love myself more to the point that I enjoyed my own solitude. Though I’ve had a number of flings, I’m still not ready to commit to anyone. Besides, nobody I’ve met can even come close to the girl I fell in love with.
To this day, she’s the only girl who made such an impact on me. I still think about her – a lot. I know my dating life looks unpromising if I keep obsessing over this girl. Many of my friends say I’m still heartbroken over the matter. Despite their many efforts to hook me up with other people, I still hope she will come back to me one day. Girls like her come by only once, twice if you’re lucky. I consider myself a lucky man.
The singlehood series is a collection of real-life stories and opinions from different people. It looks at the current world of dating around the world and the experiences that people have gone through.