It sometimes baffles me how oblivious men are to the inappropriate habits they have and how uncomfortable they make us. You’d think they’d have caught on after the hash tags and women’s marches but no! They still act like juvenile little boys who’ve only had sex with 1 girl, thirsty AF for the next nut.
Men need to be more conscious of the following creepy practices, which are revealing of men’s entitlement to our bodies and autonomy.
1) Groping and Being Overly Handsy
It happens at matatu stages, within matatus and at the club to name a few spots. Men don’t respect boundaries – it’s like they’ve never heard the phrase look but do not touch, and it seems to be all men! Yes, no man is immune to wanting a little hanky panky here and there. The viral video of Ariana Grande getting groped by a Pastor at Aretha Franklin’s funeral service proves that even men of God do not consider the discomfort a woman feels when a man inappropriately touches her.
Seriously guys, do better – your wandering hands are not welcome on our bodies.
2) Telling Women to Smile
This one is just weird. Why are you concerned about whether or not I’m smiling. I feel like this is one of those weak come-ons that men prototyped but never shelved even though they knew it would never get them anywhere with a woman (it’s up there with “you look familiar” or “sema msupa”).
This is honestly the worst for me, I hate being told to smile, especially by a dude who has no idea what’s going on in my mind (my mum could have died you inconsiderate twit). I remember asking a guy friend of mine why men do this and he said it was just a friendly display of concern; he thinks it’s normal and well intended. I thought about it and I call bullshit! If that were the case, why don’t men tell other men to smile? Why is that “courtesy” only extended to women? I’ll tell you why it’s because men be doing the most! Can you chill and let me go about my day sir!
We get that you have insatiable sexual appetites and that when you see a beautiful woman on the streets you somehow have to make it known: but we hate it. It’s not flattering, or endearing or in any way enjoyable. We know you know we don’t like it and the fact that you still scream out half literate comments at us on a daily basis doesn’t reinforce a sense of self-worth within us, nor does it heighten your chances of getting with us. So please, on behalf of all women: CUT IT OUT!