I always wanted to get pregnant and have kids but unfortunately, it never happened when I wanted it to. I had a really great boyfriend who wanted to start a family with me but the relationship ended before that could happen. Then, I met James and learned the real meaning of irony. I didn’t want a baby with him. I never thought he would be anything more than a friend with benefits. However, the universe had other plans. I got pregnant a few months after I met him and my world came crumbling down.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was hesitant to tell James. I didn’t know how he would react but I had a feeling he wouldn’t be too happy about it. Eventually, I had to tell him because my pregnancy symptoms were so severe and I needed his help.
He came over to my place thinking that we would have a quickie and he would leave as he always did. However, I placed the pregnancy test on the table as soon as he sat down.
“What’s this?” He asked without touching it.
“It’s a pregnancy test and it’s positive.”
“What?” He finally picked it up and looked closely at it.
For a moment, he seemed excited, then he turned to me and the excitement went away.
“What are we going to do?” I asked
“What do you mean? That’s not my problem.” He said then stood up to leave.
“It’s your baby.”
“No, it’s not.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him so I let him go. Later that day, he sent me some money so I could buy groceries. I didn’t have the strength to walk a few steps nor did I have the appetite to eat anything. I would stay hungry for days since I couldn’t eat anything yet he didn’t care to check on me.
When things got serious, I called my best friend to stay with me. Thankfully, she agreed even though she had a full-time job. I started eating again and regained some strength to get out of bed and do a few things. However, my pregnancy was still challenging and by the third month, my symptoms had become so intense that I had to be hospitalized because I was so dehydrated from vomiting.
James was nowhere to be found. My best friend and I tried to call him but our calls went unanswered.
During one of my hospital visits, my doctor advised me to take things slow since I had a high chance of suffering a miscarriage. He also asked me to try and avoid stressful situations.
“Your blood pressure is very high. Try not to think about or do things that make you feel stressed. Do you have any help at home?” He asked.
“Yes, I’m staying with my best friend.”
“What about the father of the child?”
“He isn’t very helpful.”
“You should encourage him to be more active in the pregnancy and tell him about the miscarriage risk.” He advised.
“Okay. I will. Thank you.”
Since he wasn’t picking up my calls, I messaged James telling him what the doctor had said.
“You need to help out more with the pregnancy. I’m at a high risk of suffering a miscarriage.” I wrote.
He didn’t respond and I didn’t expect him to. I tried not to think much about James. I started accepting the fact that I might be a single mother and had to make changes in my life so I would be able to raise the child on my own.
The more I accepted my fate, the more I became more relaxed and finally, I started enjoying my pregnancy. My symptoms had lessened significantly and I could even go to work. Though I was feeling better, my best friend still insisted on staying with me.
A month went by without any incident then I noticed I was bleeding and rushed to the hospital. I had done enough research to know that it wasn’t a good sign. They admitted me and from that point, everything was a blur. The next thing I remember was the doctor telling me I had a miscarriage.
I thought that I was strong but I couldn’t control my tears. After crying for hours, the nurses decided to sedate me so I could sleep through the night.
The following day, my best friend came to visit me.
“I’m so sorry, Betty.” She said softly.
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” I said, trying to force a smile.
“Does James know?” She asked.
“I don’t want to hear that name right now.”
I was discharged after three days in the hospital and went back to work as usual. My workmates were supportive and welcomed me back with a lovely flower arrangement.
Since I wasn’t pregnant anymore, I didn’t bother to contact James anymore. I didn’t inform him about the miscarriage either. It took him a month to check in on me.
“How are you doing?” He asked.
I wanted to ignore him completely but I thought that he deserved to know about the miscarriage, at least. So, I replied to his message.
“I’m fine. I had a miscarriage and it took you a month to contact me.”
I thought that he wouldn’t reply to my message since I wasn’t pregnant anymore but he made sure he had the last word and let out his true feelings.”
“Are you the first woman to be pregnant or have a miscarriage? How do I even know that you had a miscarriage? I think you’re faking it for attention. Anyway, if you had a miscarriage, that’s good. Now we don’t have anything tying us together.”
We never spoke after that. I had to get counselling not only because of the miscarriage but also to heal from being with an emotionally abusive partner.
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