Every time someone asks me why I haven’t settled down at my age, I usually feel like my heart is being torn to pieces all over again. Letting go of Sharon and having to process what she did to me was beyond heartbreaking. To this day, I have never fully healed from what happened, and the thought of even trusting a woman is just too painful.
I met Sharon in January 2022. At the time, she had just given birth to a son, and the baby daddy had dumped her. To most men, this would have been a red flag, but I didn’t see it that way. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I had a feeling that our relationship would flourish. I knew that she was vulnerable at the time, so we took things slow and eventually ended up in a serious relationship.
Accepting Sharon as my girlfriend also meant accepting her son, which I did. I intended to always provide a good life for her and not take over the role of a father for her son. So, we both agreed that once the boy was grown, we would tell him the truth. Like any couple, we had our fair share of fights, but always managed to deal with them.
The more time I spent with her, the more I started falling for her. At the time, I thought it was a good thing, but looking back, I realise that it was the beginning of my clowning journey. Sharon loved to flirt with men online for attention. The day I realised this, we fought, but then I ended up forgiving her because losing her wasn’t an option. Also, she assured me that it would never happen again, and I took her word for it. Unfortunately, she did end up doing it again, which led to us having a big fight, but after a few days of silence, I forgave her again.
After that incident, she started sharing her passwords with me. This made it easier for me to trust her again, and we continued with our relationship as normal. Two months later, I decided to introduce her to my family. I knew that they would be a bit sceptical about her having a child, but I was ready to fight for her. Surprisingly, they ended up liking her. By the end of the year, I was ready to settle, so I proposed to her, and she said yes.
We planned to have a traditional ceremony first, then save up for a white wedding. My family offered to help me with raising funds for the ceremony and sending out invitations. There was nothing that could ruin the happiness I felt. At least, that’s what I thought until one night changed everything.
A month before the ceremony, I got a job offer in Kisumu. There was no way I could leave Sharon and her son in Nairobi. However, given that the pay was better, she urged me to take it. I was so used to spending nights with her that I felt somehow sick during the first week. But Sharon always made sure that we talked every day, which made our living situation less lonely.
Two weeks into the job, my workload became intense, so I could only talk to her a few times a week. Luckily, the month ended faster than I expected, and I ended up getting a week off to travel to Nairobi. Sharon and I spent most of our days either in bed or handling the ceremony. The night before I left, I decided to pack for myself. I always found it easier, so that if I forget anything, I don’t end up blaming anyone.
Immediately after I finished packing my suitcase, I remembered that I had brought a gift for Sharon, but forgot to give her. I was the type of man who loved surprises, so I decided to hide it in one of her drawers, and that’s when I saw it. A brand-new box of condoms.
“Maybe she just decided to stop using contraceptives,” I thought to myself until I realised that it was open.
“Sharon!” I called out to her.
“Why are you yelling?” She asked as she walked into the room.
“What is this?” I asked.
“A box of condoms,” She responded.
“I know that. What is it doing here? We don’t use condoms, and it seems like one was already used,” I said.
“Yeah, my ex and I used it before you and I started dating,” She replied.
“Okay, but why do you have it hidden in one of your drawers?” I asked.
“The day we moved, I just shoved it there and forgot to tell you about it since we decided I would use contraceptives,” She replied.
The explanation made sense, but something still felt off about the story. Just then, her son started crying, and she left to go check on him. I looked at the box again and noticed the manufacture date, which was April 2022.
“If we started dating in January, how does she have condoms that were manufactured months later?” I thought to myself.
I placed the box back in her drawer and convinced myself that there must have been an error on the company’s end. The following morning, I grabbed my suitcase and headed to the airport. Being alone made me think deeply about the whole situation. After putting my feelings aside, I realised that her story didn’t add up. I felt confused, drained and heartbroken all at once.
To make matters worse, I didn’t even know what I would tell my family about the whole situation. At that very moment, I even wished that it was one of her flirting incidents. That would have been easier to forgive, but this was worse. The moment I landed in Kisumu, I decided to give myself time and space away from her to think. The ironic part was that she still had the guts to keep calling and texting me.
The following week, I travelled back to Nairobi to talk to Sharon and decided to call things off. She didn’t seem surprised or attempt to defend herself, instead, she kept begging for my forgiveness. Before her cheating incident, her tactic would have worked, but now, I was nothing but a broken man. That same day, I called my parents and informed them that the wedding was off. I still had a soft spot for Sharon, so I didn’t give them a solid reason. However, from the sound of my voice, they could tell I was not okay, so they let things be.
I gave Sharon a month to sort out her finances and move out. It didn’t seem fair for me to chase her away, even though she had betrayed me. I tried my best to focus on work to avoid thinking about what had happened. But now and then, I would remember our shared moments and feel the pain. If only the people who keep pestering me about settling down knew what I feel, maybe they would let me be.
This story was inspired by a story shared on Twitter, which you can find here
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