I have a problem that most people don’t understand. I’m overly affectionate with everybody, including people I don’t know. I’m fond of calling strangers endearing names like love and sweetheart which always get me funny looks but at least I’m making someone’s day a little brighter. However, my affectionate nature is a problem for people that I know.
They say that I’m overbearing and at times, they just want to be alone yet I don’t give them their personal space. I understand that people don’t want to be touched or cuddled all the time but is it such a bad problem to have? Would they rather be with someone who’s cold and emotionless? I think not. I’d rather be too affectionate than not be affectionate at all.
Nonetheless, both can be a problem and I found out the hard way. My recent relationship ended because of my affectionate nature.
Joe and I met in a rather traditional manner. We boarded the same bus and alighted at the same spot. As I headed to my place, he stopped me to compliment me on my look. I could tell he was nervous because he was breathing heavily but he managed to stay composed.
“I just wanted to tell you that you look good.” He said.
“Thank you.” I replied with a warm smile. “Where are you headed?”
“Home.” He said pointing at the direction he was going.
“I’m going this way.” I replied pointing in the other direction.
“I can escort you if you want.”
“Thank you.”
We got to know each other more as we headed to my place. I found out that he was a painter so I wasn’t worried that he would be uncomfortable with my affectionate gestures. After all, I assumed painters were emotional people.
After we reached my apartment, I invited him in so we could continue our conversation. He helped me prepare dinner as we chatted and he showed me his work.
I felt really comfortable with him even though we had just met a few minutes ago. When he stood up to go to the kitchen, I’d follow him. I tried to restrain my affectionate gestures but I still held his hand occasionally and stood close to him. I even hinted that he could sleep over which most guys would be excited about but he looked uncomfortable.
“I’m joking.” I said to break the tension.
“Of course, I know you’re joking.”
“It’s actually getting late. I need to eat then sleep. Will you eat?”
“No, I need to go too. I’ll eat at my place.”
“Okay, babe. Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for the invite.”
The first encounter wasn’t so awkward. We had a few moments of silence but I felt like we got along well. I hoped that he would understand my personality and that I wouldn’t turn him off when I showed him how affectionate I was.
We met the following day in the morning as we went to work. He handed me a chocolate bar when we settled in the bus and we resumed our conversation.
I really enjoyed Joe’s company and it was a struggle to keep my hands to myself. However, I resisted the urge just so I wouldn’t turn him off. I could already tell that he wasn’t the touchy type so he would be uncomfortable if I tried to hold his hand in public.
Nonetheless, we had a good conversation and I kept smiling the whole day thinking about it. Joe invited me to dinner at his place where he wanted to show off his cooking skills.
“I want to cook something nice for you.” He said.
“Really? What do you have in mind?”
“Anything you want. What’s your favourite food?”
“Spaghetti and minced meat.”
“That’s simple. I’ll make that for you with my own twist.”
“Sounds interesting. I can’t wait.”
“How about this Friday?”
“Sure. I can pass by after work.”
“Perfect.”
Everything was good when I got to his place. He hugged me tightly and we went up to his place. When I got there, he showed me some of his artwork in person and they looked so good up close.
As soon as we settled down, I moved closer to him which didn’t seem to bother him. When I saw that he was comfortable, I started calling him babe which seemed to bother him.
“I notice that you don’t like when I call you babe. Is that an issue?”
“It’s not an issue. I just think that it’s too soon for such names.”
“But you don’t mind when I touch you.”
“It also makes me a bit uncomfortable but calling me babe is a bit too much.”
Obviously, I couldn’t stop myself from calling him cute pet names. In fact, the more time I spent with him, the more frequent I called him names like “babe” “honey” and “love”. I could tell that he was very uncomfortable but he didn’t say anything. He was probably trying not to offend me but his facial expressions said it all.
At some point, he went to sit at the dining table just so I wouldn’t touch him. When I came close to him, he would move somewhere else. Even though I knew my affectionate behaviour made him feel uncomfortable, I still couldn’t stop it.
By the end of the night, he had completely closed himself off and barely talked to me. If I asked him a question, he would respond with one answer.
“It’s getting late.” He said, hinting that he wanted me to leave.
“Okay. Will you walk me to my place?”
“I would but I have some things I need to do.”
“No problem. I’ll just take a motorbike.”
“Okay. Bye.”
He walked me to the door and nearly threw me out. I don’t know what he did after I left but he must have cleansed the apartment. I’m sure he thought I was some kind of dark spirit.
Like many guys I had met in the past, I didn’t hear from Joe again. I’ve passed by his apartment many times and I haven’t run into him. Maybe he moved out to avoid me. Either way, he was yet another guy who I had turned off with my overly affectionate nature.
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