Before throwing stones at me, let me make a disclaimer. There’s nothing wrong with an independent woman. I’ve dated a few in my life and I can tell you they’re some of the best girlfriends I’ve ever had. It’s good knowing that my girl can cover some basic things for herself like her hair and nails. It’s also a good feeling when you meet your girl all dolled up and she didn’t ask for a single shilling to do it.
My issue is only with the ones who feel they’re too independent to need a man. Again, it’s not really an issue. I just wonder why they’re looking for love or a relationship if they feel like they don’t need it or it doesn’t benefit them in any way.
So, I met this lovely lady at an event I had attended. She was drinking alone and I decided to join since I was also alone.
“Is someone sitting here?” I asked.
“No.” She answered as she sized me up then I saw her nod slightly in approval.
I smiled as I sat knowing I had made a good impression already.
“Why are you all alone?”
“I enjoy my own company.”
“Oh, interesting. What do you do for fun?”
“Listen to music and paint.”
“Then this must be the perfect place for you.”
“Yeah, I was actually having fun until you came.” She said with a straight face then cracked a smile.
I was nervous for a minute but the smile calmed me down. To break the ice, I ordered another drink for her.
“I can get my own drink.” She said.
She wasn’t smiling that time.
“Okay. I see you, Miss Independent.”
I managed to make her smile but at that point, I was sweating. Still, I refused to give up. She got up and I thought she had gone to sit somewhere else but she came back a few minutes later with her drink and two shots of tequila.
“You seem tense. Let’s take a shot.” She said.
I didn’t even have time to refuse. She shoved the shot glass in my hand and placed an orange slice in my other hand. She took the shot and I followed, trying to prove that I could keep up with her.
“So, what do you do for fun?” She asked.
“Talk to beautiful women like you,” I said, trying to be flirty but it didn’t work.
“Oh.” She said disappointedly.
“I mean, I like to paint too. I actually do it for a living.”
“Nice, but the worst mistake you can make is turning your hobby into a career.”
“Really? Why do you say that?”
“Because it stops being fun and it becomes work.”
“Oh, I’ve never thought about it like that. I still enjoy painting but I have to admit, I rarely paint in my free time. It’s mostly for work now.”
“See.”
We bonded over our mutual love for painting and ended up spending the whole day together.
“I need to leave. It’s getting late.”
I was tempted to offer to call her an Uber but after her reaction to me offering to buy her a drink, I wasn’t going to repeat the same mistake twice.
“Okay. Let me escort you.”
“Thank you.” She said sweetly.
We walked through the parking lot and she removed her car keys from her bag and unlocked the shiny BMW in front of us.
“Nice car.” I managed to say.
“Thanks. So you want to keep me company on my drive home?”
“Sure. I can take an Uber from your place.”
“You’re such a nice guy.”
That was the drive that sealed the deal. To be honest, I can’t tell you what I said to her but I must have said something right to make a woman like her interested in me.
I realized we lived close to each other so she would come to pick me up every morning. I tried to free to pay for her fuel every now and then but she would refuse. The gifts I bought her like chocolate and flowers seemed so insignificant to the things she would pick up every day on our way to work.
She always bought a full Java breakfast and when she saw something she liked along the way, she would buy it without even thinking of the price. I admired her but I also felt intimidated.
As much as I loved an independent woman, I still took pride in taking care of the girl I was with even if she made more money than me.
None of the other independent women I had dated in the past flaunted their money in my face like that. At some point, I felt like a boy toy because she would buy me very expensive gifts yet, I could only afford things worth a few thousand shillings.
I tried to adjust to her lifestyle but it was a bit much for me.
“Why are you with me?” I finally asked her.
“What do you mean? I like you. You’re fun.”
“Okay, but I feel like you’re way out of my league. You can get a man who’s way better than me.”
“I don’t want another man.”
“I can’t keep up with your lifestyle and it makes me feel like less of a man.”
She looked at me in disbelief.
“Many men would kill to be in your position. Imagine having a woman who doesn’t ask you for anything and even spends money on you.”
“I know many guys would like that treatment but it’s not for me. I like independent women but I also like being useful in relationships.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” She said with a smirk that made me think twice but the words I was going to say.
“I just don’t feel like it could work out between us,” I said, hesitantly.
She exhaled heavily and looked at the floor. It was the first time I saw her somehow defeated.
She quickly lifted her head, smiled and said, “Okay. It was fun while it lasted.
She then stood up, went to the door, unlocked it and stood there looking at me. I knew exactly what she meant so I stood up as well and left.
We didn’t say anything to each other. I was tempted to call or text her but I knew she wouldn’t respond so I tried to forget her and move on.
After that experience, I realized my preference for independent women would land me in problems. I’m now more open to dating all types of women.
Check out
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She Complained When He Didn’t Buy Things In Twos
The Guy Used To Spend So Much Money On Me Yet We Weren’t Dating
