I can’t tell you when I started smoking. In fact, I can’t tell you why I like it so much. I never did. I was that person who used to be turned off by smokers. Now, I’m the one that’s turning people off. Every time I try to quit, I end up having a craving that I can’t resist. I thought people would be more willing to compromise since I smoke vapes and not cigarettes but it seems a smoker is a smoker regardless of what they smoke.
I try not to smoke until after the third or fourth time I meet someone I’m interested in but it doesn’t matter. Most are usually turned off by it and they don’t pursue the relationship further.
It wasn’t a big problem a few years ago but now, I can’t seem to find a partner, especially since most people my age are interested in long-term relationships and a girlfriend who smokes vapes isn’t on their checklist.
The first time that someone ended a relationship with me because of my smoking habits, I felt like he was being dramatic. However, the more it happened, the more I realized it was actually a problem. My most recent breakup was the wake-up call I needed to change my habits.
One of my exes and I have been in contact for a long time. We remained friends even after the breakup and checked on each other every now and then. Recently, he started asking me out on a date and since I was single, I decided to take up the offer.
“Dinner sounds good.”
“Great. Let’s meet today after work. I can come pick you up.”
“That’s okay. We’ll meet at the restaurant.”
“Okay. I can’t wait to see you.”
Though we had been in touch, we hadn’t seen each other in years. The last time he saw me, I had just completed university. Now, I am a big girl with a big corporate job.
However, Mike and I always had good chemistry so I wasn’t worried about how the date would go. I knew he would be attracted to me the moment he saw me again.
Sure enough, he was. The reunion was amazing. We couldn’t stop laughing. I ended up going back to his place and spent the night with him. While I was at his place, I started craving for a vape. I tried to hold on until I got home but I couldn’t so I asked Mike if he would buy one for me.
“Do you smoke vapes?” I started the conversation.
“No, I don’t smoke at all.” He answered, frowning slightly.
“Really? Not even shisha?”
“No, I have a health condition.”
“Oh, I want a vape.”
“You smoke vapes?”
“Yes, occasionally,” I answered, trying to downplay my habit.
“Okay. If you want one, you can order. I’ll pay for it.”
“Thanks,” I said with a smile.
I thought his willingness to buy me a cape was an indication that he didn’t have a problem with it.
However, I could see how he looked at me when I smoked. I tried to offer it to him but he refused.
“These things are not good.” He finally shared his thoughts.
“I know.”
“So, why are you smoking it? You never used to smoke when we were together.”
“I started a few years ago and now I feel like it’s becoming a problem. I can’t stop smoking vapes even if I wanted.”
“Yeah, that’s a problem.”
Despite his objection, Mike didn’t ghost me or tell me how things couldn’t work between us. We continued to see each other every now and then. Since he didn’t seem like he had a big problem with me smoking vapes, I got more comfortable.
Every time we were together, I always had a vape. He slowly started hinting that it was bothering him. First, he asked me to smoke on the balcony.
“Please be going to the balcony when you want to smoke. The smoke is starting to affect me.” He said.
“Okay.” I agreed, thinking he was trying to find a way to accommodate my lifestyle.
A few weeks later, smoking on the balcony also became a problem. He complained that his neighbours would see me and judge him since he was a respected man around. So, I started going to a different room to smoke.
“I don’t like the way your breath smells when you smoke.” He complained.
“What do you mean? My breath smells fine.”
“It’s making me feel nauseous.”
“So, what do you want me to do?”
“Why don’t you stop smoking vapes? It’s not even good for your health.”
“I’m trying.”
“I don’t think you are.”
“You don’t know how much I want to stop smoking vapes.”
“I want to help you but it seems you don’t want to stop.”
“I’ll try harder, babe.”
I wanted things to work but I knew it would be very hard for me to stop smoking suddenly. So, I reduced the time I spent at Mike’s place. The date nights were less and sleepovers were almost nonexistent. I hoped that by the time he noticed that we were spending less time together, I would have reduced my smoking habits.
I didn’t. Vapes were still a part of my everyday life.
“You haven’t been to my place in a month. What’s wrong? Did I offend you?”
“No, I’ve just been busy with work but I’ll come next weekend.”
“Okay. I miss you.”
I went to his place on Friday after work and planned to leave early the following day so I wouldn’t smoke around him. However, I got a craving as soon as I arrived at his place. I kept fidgeting and pacing around the room which caught Mike’s attention.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Nothing,” I replied.
“Something is definitely wrong.”
I tried to change the subject but Mike insisted on knowing what was bothering me.
“Okay, I’ll tell you but you have to promise not to judge me.”
“Of course.”
“I haven’t stopped smoking vapes.”
“What? I thought we agreed that you should stop. We can’t be in a relationship if you keep smoking those things.”
“I’m trying.”
“It’s too much for me. I’m sorry.”
“So you’re breaking up with me because of something so silly.”
“It’s not silly. I care about you. That’s why I want you to stop and I can’t keep encouraging your habit.”
It finally hit me how serious my smoking habit was. I was silent as Mike ranted about smoking and eventually broke up with me. I didn’t even bother trying to convince him otherwise.
We simply went our separate ways and didn’t talk after that. I’ve been trying to quit my habit and I’ve made some progress but I still smoke occasionally, especially when I’m out with my friends.
Check out
He Bragged About His Bad Dating Habits
The Beautiful Date With Bad Table Manners
My Date Offered Me Money So I Could Leave
Campus Diary: Love And Drugs Do Not Go Together
He Got Me Hooked On Alcohol And Then Made Fun Of Me Because I Went To Rehab
