It reaches a point when things get rocky in a relationship and you end up constantly venting to your friends and family. After you vent then things get back to being rosy and you forget that you were initially unhappy, your friends will most likely keep remind you that just the other day you were complaining about him and now he is perfect! This is when you find yourself making excuses for your other half. During this time you will probably say things like he has changed or as a matter of fact he bought me flowers recently and mention many other good things you assume will erase the bad things he does to you.
When you find yourself in a position where you are constantly defending your partner then you are probably not in the right relationship. Sometimes you may know that the person you love so much is simply a waste of time or you are settling for less. But you keep trying to save face by making excuses for him. While you are waiting for him to change, you keep finding new ways to protect him. Men hardly go through this as they are very good at not settling for less. If some of the following excuses have become your chorus then you may be making too many excuses.
He’s just going through a phase: This is when you try and assume your man is just going through a phase and will get out of it. For example, if he gets money and starts cheating you then assume that it is because of the sudden money and he will calm down. While you know the truth is he may just be revealing his true colors. If you choose to stay with him even through this time it is entirely up to you but be realistic about it.
He’s just in a bad mood: Everyone has their bad days though when it becomes unreasonable then this is just a defense you’ve created for him. He should not lash out on you or the people around you just because he cannot control his temper. This is insensitive and may sometimes lead to emotional and physical abuse. You should have someone who appears to be constant with his moods and feelings not someone whom you cannot tell if they will be happy or mad the next day.
He is just not good at communicating: So you are the one who keeps initiating contact and this is now becoming a trend and you do not like it. He may take so long to respond to your texts or does not even return your phone call and he says he just sucks at communicating. I once read that when a man wants something to work he will put in effort. If he is not good at texting back and forth then he will most likely insist on calling you and will not take forever to respond to your attempts of communicating. Chances are he sees you as a needy being and has taken you for granted as you keep trying to reach out.
It’s not always like this: Every relationship has its ups and downs but when the downs are more than the highs then you need to stop giving excuses. You keep saying it’s not usually bad and that when the relationship is going well it’s amazing. You actually feel the need to tell your friends of all the recent good things he has been doing as they try and convince you to leave. You insist that it’s just a rough patch though you know that he has not been putting in as much effort as required. This sort of an excuse makes you hold on to hope that you shouldn’t have. You hold on to the few good things he does yet you know very well you would like him to give you better days than he currently gives.
I love him: Love should be one of the main ingredients of any relationship. So it’s nice that you love him and this is what you will say when people tell you he is not good for you. That is not an excuse to stay with a man who beats you, is emotionally abusive or keeps cheating on you. There is nothing wrong with you loving him though there is everything wrong when you are just staying for the sake of love.
At the end of the day no one can tell you who to be with people can only advise you or look out for you. You should not keep giving excuses about your partner. You should not be allowing him to get away with stuff and giving excuses some of which you know you are lying. You need to stop making excuses for your man. Maybe it’s time to reconsider whether you should be in that relationship.
Vanessa Raychael is a young writer passionate about writing. She is a student at Daystar University. She has written for the People newspaper as a fiction writer and she also hosts a show in a gospel station known as Vision TV. During her spare time, she likes nature trails, spending time with friends and going for events. You can check out her work on her blog nochills.blogspot.com