In an alternative universe, not a beautiful, loving universe like ours, bad things happen.
Cinderella went to a ball, danced with a beautiful prince and lost something more precious than a glass slipper. 9 months later a baby was born and the prince disowned both of them, and the baby grew up to be poor like its mother.
Snow White had a psycho stepmother who talked to herself in the mirror. Because she was jealous, the stepmother poisoned her and Snow White died. Her stepmother collected her life insurance.
Sleeping Beauty had a godmother who didn’t like her, maybe she couldn’t have children herself or maybe Sleeping Beauty’s mother stole the man she had wanted for herself and she was green with envy. Sleeping Beauty went to visit and The godmother gave her some potent juice. Sleeping Beauty got into a coma and died of a drug overdose.
A Princess married a frog after being told he would turn into a Prince, but 5 million kisses later he was still a frog. He refused to divorce her saying life was too good living in a palace.
The maiden who spun gold was a lass who made a deal with the devil to make her rich, and when she had snagged the King and married him, she had a baby. She gave him to the devil as payment for making her wealthy. The baby was raised as the devil’s son.
Goldilocks was a naive campus girl, who went to a party, drank 3 different kinds of alcohol and passed out on a bed. She was gang-raped by 3 college boys who didn’t care that she was unconscious and unconsenting.
Hansel and Gretel were nice kids who loved to use the internet and were fascinated by a site called the Gingerbread house. The Gingerbread House promised cookies and toys if you went to a certain house. Hansel and Gretel went there and were never seen by their parents again. The gingerbread house was a paedophile website that targeted children and trafficked them.
Rapunzel and the Wicked Witch were partners in a drug cartel. They made drugs in the middle of the forest and the only way you could enter their castle was to ask Rapunzel to let down a rope made out of her hair.
But these things don’t happen in our universe. We live in a fairytale kingdom where life turns out right, everythìng works out well and life is a fairy tale.
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